By Georgina Pattinson BBC News

The key to his heart, or one way to turn hot passions cold?

Valentine's day - that perennial celebration of sickly commercialism - is here again. And even the makers of gelatine are peddling their wares.

Perhaps treating your lover to a jelly (made with gelatine, natch) is the perfect way to say: "Be Mine".

We put in 10% effort less than is acceptable. Eoin McSorley

But as red hearts litter the nation's shops like acne and florists rub their hands in glee, it's easy to be cynical.

It seems that Valentine's Day comes second only to Christmas: not because of a spirit of love and forgiveness but for naked consumerism.

Retailers know that hitching your product to the Valentine's bandwagon is one way to sell. OK, purveyors of flowers, chocolate, cards and diamonds have got some claim on 14 February.

But what about the people who peddle supposedly "perfect" gifts.

CHAMPAGNE JELLIES 50g/2oz caster sugar 100ml/4floz water 4 leaves gelatine 500ml/18floz Champagne or dry sparkling wine 100g/4oz each raspberries, blueberries, redcurrants For the sugar syrup, place sugar in a pan and add water. Place over low heat stirring until sugar is dissolved. Bring to bubbling for one minute, then remove from heat. At the same time soak gelatine in a little water. When gelatine has softened, lift it from the water and transfer to the sugar syrup. Stir to dissolve completely. Add Champagne or sparkling wine to top up to 600ml/1pt Place fruit in 4 cocktail glasses and fill with Champagne syrup. Chill until set. Recipe by Jill Cox

Fridge magnets? the Micromark Carlsberg Chiller (a beer fridge)? the Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas game?

This year, one of the many surveys pumped out by enthusiastic corporations found a huge number of Britons are turned off by their partner's lack of romance on Valentine's.

Somerfield supermarket spoke to over 1,000 adults and of those, nearly half of women and more than a third of men thought their partner could be more romantic.

The highest dissatisfaction rates among married couples.

Perhaps it was because of the kids. But it could have been because they were given a Valentine Boxers and Socks gift set from Aldi at �2.99.

Or perhaps it's just men who fall short on thoughtful gestures. Last year, �5,000 worth of inscribed bricks were bought by Rangers fans to be built into the walls of Ibrox stadium - 79% of them by women.

In all, Valentine's Day is worth approximately �2.4bn to the retail sector, according to figures from the British Retail Consortium.

Around �26m is spent on cards, with around 13 million cards sent. And around �384m is spent on chocolate. In total, 42% of the population will spend money on their Valentine.

"With tough conditions on the high street, many retailers will now be looking for events on the calendar such as Valentine's as an opportunity to boost trading," says David Southwell, the consortium's director of communications.

Actually Valentine's day is a nightmare for men, says Eoin McSorley, from Maxim magazine.

"I think most men see it as a bit of a nuisance," he says. "They are cynical about being ripped off by card manufacturers.

Not romantic: don't buy her a violent game

"What would be great for men is if the 14th really blew up in their face - if we were told Valentine's is, actually, next week. Then you'd have time to prepare. In the end, we put in 10% effort less than is acceptable.

"Because we don't see it through the same eyes, we may give something we think is witty but women want flowers, chocolates and the rest. It ends up with you feeling more inadequate as a man."

Commercialism has got out of control, says Susan Quilliam, a relationship psychologist.

We prefer to stay at home, playing Scrabble and drinking Champagne Annie Marsh

"We are defining success of what we have got rather than what we are," she says.

"We're not defining love by sticking with one partner through thick and thin but whether we take them to the latest restaurant.

"It's fed to us as a society. It's a roller coaster. If you don't join in you're seen to be failing."

The good news is that she doesn't think we've lost the ability to be romantic - just redefined romance. "The proof is that we are spending the money - it's a demonstration."

Her advice is - make an effort, don't flash the cash. (Although she warns that this is not a cast-iron excuse not to buy anything. Unless you've told your loved one about your newly acquired anti-commercial stance, your lack of a gift, card or message will be seen as tight rather than noble). Communication is the key.

She has one gift tip for established couples. Put together a photo album with pictures of the two of you and title it: The Early Years.

Or reject presents altogether, like Annie Marsh, a 30-year-old lawyer.

"My boyfriend and I find restaurants on Valentine's Day are full of cheesy people so - if we're not stuck at work - we prefer to stay at home, playing Scrabble and drinking Champagne."