The Magazine's Friday Challenge Should you choose to accept it...

A cold? Come now, you can do better than that

There are 22 million sick note requests given to GPs each year, and up to a quarter of them is thought to be bogus, according to research by Norwich Union Healthcare.

No wonder employers get suspicious if people claim they had "a really bad flu" or "a case of dodgy seafood". What's needed is some real inventiveness - always remembering that your note will fail in its primary purpose if it goes too far to be believable.

We want your finest efforts, the best of which will be recorded here throughout the course of Friday. Remember now - creative but plausible.

Some of your entries so far:

I've come down with a nasty infection; until now, I hadn't realised that my dog had taken to using my toothbrush on its own teeth.
Tim Francis-Wright, US

There's a dead dog at the bottom of my garden and the council are coming to collect it
Peter, Wales

I've suffered a wardrobe malfunction of potential litigious proportions and will be unable to be seen in public for several days.
Scott, US

I sprained my ankle tripping over the mother-in-law's toy poodle in the hallway and the doctor says I have to take three days off sick. I'd much rather come in to work, as I expect she will be fussing over both me and her precious little pet the whole time, but the doctor was quite insistent that I put my feet up for a while. I shall be in absolute agony, not just from the leg injury, but doctor's orders...
Kat, UK

It is my diagnosis that Colm suffers from Advanced Motivational Defecit Disorder (AMDD). I recommend 10 days leave and that on his return, arrangements must be made for further short notice leave should subsequent "attacks" occur.
Colm, Ireland

When looking for my inner self, I lost my marbles, so now my inner self has to try and find my marbles, and the men in white coats won't let me go look.
Steve, UK

I checked the MI5 website and it was obvious that any of the routes to the office were too hazardous.
Dave Williams, UK

Following certain events last night, I will be unable to come into work as my pride has being seriously hurt and my dignity shattered.
Chris, London

I have to take my cat to be cloned.
Richard, UK

I hurt my wrist trying to save a man's life whilst giving him Heimlich Manoeuvre and the paramedics at the scene told me to rest it. (So look like a hero AND get the day off...)
Dan, UK

Whilst surfing the interweb, I chanced on a site offering medical advice. I spent some time perusing it, which was festooned with many pictures of female medical staff. Some of the photographs of the various medical procedures were quite staggering in their degree of detail, and I found myself feeling a little faint. Before long, I fell from my stool, overcome by images for which I was not properly prepared. I thus now sport a damaged hand and will not be able to work for at least a week. In a effort to speed up my recovery, I shall seek advice from the web...
Chris Pritchett, Bristol UK

I may not be able to come into work today as my bilious condition has returned. I'm aware that flatulence is a very anti-social problem, but if you'd prefer I struggled in I'm sure I can make the effort?
Lisa , England

My anger therapist hit me and now I've got chest pains.
Robin, UK

It my professional opinion that while Michael may to outward appearances seem to be fine, he is in fact a very sick individual and should not be allowed around people.
Michael Brown, Ottawa, Canada

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