By Melissa Jackson Education reporter, BBC News

The first day at school is a nerve-wracking time

Probably more so for parents than their offspring, who will soon be heading to the school gates for the first time.

Forgive me Scotland, I realise that school started several weeks ago and you have been through all of this already.

A child's first day at school is a milestone in anyone's book and - with a good dose of positive thinking - should be one to enjoy.

Children pick up on it if mum and dad feel concerned and anxious. It rubs off on them Sharon Harvey, Little Hill Primary School, Leicester

It is a life-changing moment when children start primary school and begin the first day of the rest of their educational lives.

Youngsters who have been the centre of their parents' world are shepherded into unknown territory where an adult's attention is shared with up to 29 other little newcomers.

"Hats off" to reception class teachers who are experts at making the first day of school as trouble-free as possible.

All "early years" teachers are trained to deal with settling children in to their new environment.

Sharon Harvey, foundation stage manager at Little Hill Primary School at Wigston in Leicester, says parents can help children adapt to their new routine by being positive about the experience.

'Broken record' technique

She said: "Children pick up on it if mum and dad feel concerned and anxious. It rubs off on them.

"So we say to parents 'no matter what you're feeling, try to stay positive about school'."

So how do they deal with (every parent's nightmare) an emotional child who starts crying when their mum or dad tries to leave?

"We say to parents, 'don't linger for too long if your child is upset. We are the experts and usually they are absolutely fine a few minutes later'," said Mrs Harvey.

Some children weep buckets but I have yet to come across a child who has been totally devastated for the whole day Elaine Douglas, educational psychologist

"We don't get into that situation of 'oh they're very upset so take them home'. That would be making a rod for your own back," she added.

The "broken record technique" is another way of dealing with a child who is reluctant or refuses to let go of their parent.

Chartered educational psychologist Elaine Douglas said: "Don't be fooled by tears and tantrums.

"Some children weep buckets but I have yet to come across a child who has been totally devastated for the whole day."

Repeatedly telling a child: "It will be fine", usually works, according to Ms Douglas. Eventually they start to accept it.

She added: "As a parent, you have to accept this is a stage in your child's development and they are becoming more independent."

Gender differences

Parents who may be feeling sad about "letting go" are warned to keep their emotions in check.

"Put on a brave face and smile and then go round the corner and weep. Don't cry in front of your child, " said the educational psychologist.

Gender certainly plays a part in the way children fit in at school - with girls adapting to the classroom setting more easily than boys.

Ms Douglas said: "Girls are much better developed at this age. They are better at sitting and drawing but boys like to run around more. They're just more physical."

Some parents may find their sons reluctant to accept their new surroundings. Again the advice is "stay positive".

"Parents should try to phrase their responses in a positive way, like 'you will enjoy this'," said Ms Douglas.

And if all this has left you exasperated there is a ray of light.

According to psychologists, most children behave much better for teachers than they do for their parents.

So - as long as your child is not clinging like a limpet to the hem of your skirt or trousers - you can walk away on the first day and feel satisfied your most precious possession is in good hands.

Let us know how your first day went

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