Sudarshan Daffu was married for 10 years. During my marriage I suffered a lot of mental, physical and sexual abuse. We started having family conferences initially and he would actually apologise for what he'd done. I soon realised this was a pattern - six or seven months would go by and then he'd erupt again. He used to force himself on me, he'd throw things at me, slap me very hard in the face but I put up with it. The family conferences got us nowhere so eventually I started calling the police. Things came to a head in June 2000 when my husband rammed my head against the kitchen wall. I was rushed to hospital where I was critical for 24 hours - they found out my skull had been cracked at the front and back and three bones in my neck were broken as well. I should have left sooner but kept giving him another chance because of my cultural upbringing, tradition and family honour. Our families were old friends back in Kenya where we both came from originally. I had to take all that into account but it's been a very painful price I've had to pay. My husband has no access to our two daughters now so I feel in a way justice has been done although he escaped prison.

Sivasangari Sithambaram's marriage lasted just 47 days. I met my husband after I came to the UK from Sri Lanka to study psychology. Before we married both he and his family were charming towards me but after the marriage everything turned bad. He used to talk me very abusively and he would nearly strangle me by holding me around the throat. He wanted me to work in the house the whole time and I felt very isolated because he wouldn't let me communicate with my family. The marriage only lasted 47 days and then he threw me out of the house but kept my passport. He said because he'd sponsored me to come to the UK he would keep my passport. I went to the police and asked for help but they said they couldn't interfere because it was a family matter. I don't know whether I'll be allowed to stay once I'm divorced as my husband sponsored me to come here. It's really sad because I can't even face my own community, they blame me, saying that I should have put up with him even though he was violent. I did try but he pushed me over the limit, there is a limit for everything.

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