Less formal visits allow fathers to talk "man-to-man" to their sons

Wife, children and mother-in-law line up one-by-one to be patted down by a prison officer without batting an eyelid.

Mouths checked for drugs, they carry on past locked doors and a sniffer dog in what is obviously a familiar routine.

What lies beyond the rigmarole is their husband, their dad - and nothing is going to stop them visiting.

Kelly, 34, says it was hard when her husband was first jailed but the more relaxed visits at Brixton make it easier for the children to cope.

It's horrible for the kids at first because they go away and think about it Kelly, offender's wife Prisoners 'must keep ties' 'Jail turned my life around'

She says: "The first time it was horrible. You don't know what to do - no-one really tells you, you just try to follow suit.

"It's especially awful for the people who don't speak the language properly. And it's horrible for the kids at first because they go away and think about it.

"But once you know they are all right in here, you are all right."

She welcomes Brixton's new family days - only offered to a dozen prisoners who have earned the privilege - as "more civilised" for the children.

Inmates say being able to play with their children is the best thing

Under more formal procedures, any hoods on visitors' clothes have to be tucked inside or cannot be worn.

Prisoners cannot play with their children or take them to one side to talk more privately.

This is particularly important for John's eldest, now 15, who needs to be able to speak to his father man-to-man, Kelly says.

John, who is 43 and was jailed for deception, agrees: "It's the little things like if you can go up and get something to eat. It's normal things you can do that you normally can't."

At the end of the day it's about punishing us, not punishing the families Desmond, father and offender

A few yards away, fellow offender Desmond carefully paints patterns on the face and arms of his son Joshua.

He says: "You get to play with the kids, which is the best thing. It's are a lot better because at the end of the day it's about punishing us, not punishing the families."

His wife Sharon, who has also brought Desmond's granddaughter to visit, says: "It's like a sentence you are doing with them.

"Some people don't want to know. I'm the kind of person that, no matter what they've done, I'll give them a chance.

Strangers again

"When you visit I think you are a bit shocked by the amount you are searched and so on, the fact they check in your mouth [for drugs]. I had a chewing gum and had to spit it out.

"It's something you don't think about. Some families do get quite put off by that.

"It's a shame because when someone's inside, no matter what they are in for, they need to see their family and it's important for their families too.

"Otherwise if people are for a long time, children can forget about their dads - and when they come out they are strangers again."