By Lincoln Archer
BBC News Online |
 Fewer relatives have headed to Bali for the second anniversary |
Tourists have been starting to return to Bali in ever-greater numbers since July, when the Foreign Office lifted its advisory warning against non-essential travel to Indonesia. But while life on the island starts to return to normal, the loved ones of those killed by the bombings on 12 October 2002 are finding little relief from their grief.
Last year, 14 survivors or relatives went to the memorial service held in Bali. Six people made the trip this year.
That is largely due to the sheer expense of travelling there, but the intense emotions aroused by seeing the bomb scene or attending memorial services can also be difficult to deal with. 'Harder to cope'
Susanna Miller's brother Dan, 31, a Hong Kong-based lawyer from Kent, was among those killed. His wife, Polly, suffered 40% burns.
The couple had married just five weeks earlier.
Ms Miller now works with the UK Bali Bombing Victims Group.
She told BBC News Online that many relatives have found the second year since the bombings harder to cope with than the first.
"In the first year you're just in the grip of grief and shock," she said. "It's in the second year that the reality of it all starts to come forward.
"It sliced a lot of people's careers in half. People retired early because they simply couldn't cope.
"For some people, losing a son or a daughter is a nearly fatal blow and it may well yet prove to be. Every birthday, every Christmas there's someone missing."
She said the second year since the blasts had also been draining for survivors.
 Some survivors are haunted by what they saw on the night of the blasts |
"We're finding people are having enormous difficulty with what they saw. Some that we know of, at least five or six, have had complete breakdowns after the first year." The group is in touch with around 20 survivors, but is keen to hear from more.
All the families of those killed remain in close contact through the group to offer each other support, particularly at times like Tuesday's second anniversary, which Ms Miller said many found "enormously painful" and had been dreading.
Watching news reports of fresh attacks in other parts of the world can also be incredibly distressing.
The Madrid bombing in March was aimed at a so-called "soft target", while last week's attack at the Red Sea resort of Taba used one blast to create panic and a second to inflict maximum casualties. The same tactics were employed in Bali.
"It brings back very bad memories," Ms Miller said, "and when you see the pictures of those places you know exactly how those people would be feeling."
Charity work
In the aftermath of the Bali attack, some families formed charities in the names of their loved ones.
 |  You simply have to look ahead, to try to get on with life  |
They have raised more than �600,000 in two years for projects ranging from aiding adult burns victims to helping Bali children orphaned by the attacks.
However, maintaining public awareness of their work can be a challenge.
While 24-hour news channels and websites can offer instant coverage of breaking news like terrorist attacks, when the glare of the spotlight recedes, the long-term effects that such events have on those left behind can sometimes be forgotten.
"Unless it's big news it's not news at all," Ms Miller said.
"People don't realise how devastating grief can be and that it has a momentum of its own."
 Dan Miller was one of 28 Britons killed in the attack |
Nevertheless, many bereaved have little choice but to find some optimism with which to look ahead. Ms Miller said: "One of the adjustments we've had to make is to understand that things will never be the same again. It's very tough, but that doesn't mean it's crippling forever.
"You simply have to look ahead, to try to get on with life.
"All the people who were killed were enormously positive people and they wouldn't want us mired in misery."
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