New mothers' preferences

Full-time motherhood: 43% Jobshare: 31% Own business/work from home: 22% Work full-time: 4%

Nine out of 10 mothers who work full time say life is much harder than they ever imagined.

And almost as many say the stress of trying to cope with everything often causes them to shout at their children.

Two thirds of those questioned felt their stress actually transferred to their family, causing them to feel stressed too.

The survey found that only 4% of working women with a baby or young child would choose to work full-time.

Nearly a third of respondents (31%) would rather have a part-time career job share, 22% would prefer to work from home or set up their own business and 43% would like to be "a full-time mum".

The government wants to encourage as many women as possible into full-time work, but this is blatantly not what most women want - especially those with families

Juliette Kellow, editor Top Sante

Juliette Kellow, editor of Top Sante, said: "The government wants to encourage as many women as possible into full-time work, but this is blatantly not what most women want - especially those with families.

"Working full-time for most women with families is a major problem - physically, emotionally and mentally - and this survey shows it is also extremely damaging to family life and relationships."

But even working women without children are struggling, the survey suggests.

Women who work full time say they still do most of the household chores.

Only 37% of working couples share jobs equally around the home, and a mere 3% of men do more ironing and washing than their partners.

Many women resent their partners' lack of help in the home.

But it seems many women are also disillusioned with their actual jobs.

Researchers found that 78% would "quit their current job tomorrow given the chance".

Women resent bearing the brunt of the housework

More than half (51%) of all women admit they take time off work to "escape stress or because they feel unwell due to stress", clocking up an average of 12 days off a year.

As many as 83% feel they have to work harder than men to gain promotion, and 80% feel that the fact women have babies always affects career prospects.

Although a third of women now earn more than their partner, 44% say their partner "feels threatened by their success".

Ms Kellow says traditional beliefs about the roles of men and women have been hard to shake off.

She says: "I think we are still caught up in the traditional values which were around 20, 30 or 40 years ago.

"The woman was traditionally the person in the house who got the meals ready and looked after the children, while the men went out to work.

"For many of us, it is very difficult to break these stereotypes."

Working mothers "find life tougher than they ever imagined"

Dianah Worman is the advisor in employment diversity and equality for the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development.

She says many women now find they cannot give up work, even if they want to, when they have children.

She says: "We know a large percentage of women now return to work after a few months, rather than years, because they cannot afford to have time off.

"In a way, they are losing their freedom of choice in this area."

Ms Kellow says the ultimate solution will have to come through changes in the workplace - through more flexible working hours, more child-care cr�ches and better job share opportunities for both sexes.