Can the government encourage people to show more respect to each other? Tony Blair has outlined plans to tackle bad parenting and anti-social behaviour.
The prime minister said that voluntary parenting contracts and parenting orders should be used more widely.
He also suggested that more people, including housing officers and school staff, should have the power to issue the orders and contracts.
The prime minister has made respect a major theme for this third term in office.
Do we show enough respect for each other? Should the government tell people how to raise their families?
This debate is now closed. Read a selection of your comments below.
The following comments reflect the balance of opinion we have received so far:
 | SUGGEST A DEBATE This topic was suggested by Clifton Gare-Mogg, England  What can be done to help parents, and what measures should the Government take to support families? |
I have lived in the UK for 11 years now and have worked in a school for over five. I find that respect is declining - in school, on the road, in public places, in neighbourhoods. I believe that the British are about to let the sort of civil behaviour slip which used to be so typical for them and which is a sign of good citizenship. The children (and younger adults) take their lead from American soaps these days and it does not help.
Dr Rose Fuhrmann, Lewes, East Sussex
I think we should forget about the notion of respect to some extent and just bring back good manners and thoughtfulness for others. I don't need to respect someone before I hold a door open for them or say please and thank you. It's these little things that are important because the bigger things such as care for the environment and respect for others develop from them.
Sass, Somerset, UK
This whole culture is born out of the Welfare State. The government has taken 'caring' out of the people's hands. The result is what you see. Selfish, uncaring individuals who expect the State to provide their housing, child care, health care and take no responsibility for their actions.
John, France
I am a police child protection officer. I have lost count of the number of useless, and even just plain nasty, parents I have met over the past decade. Good parenting is not a 100% solution, as well-brought up children can still be led astray by their feral peers. But ultimately, children act nasty because they emulate the examples around them.
Neil, London
Perhaps a sense of community would help. How well do people know their neighbours these days? What about the people next to them? We increasingly live in an isolated world where there is no interaction - so the "me, me, me" culture expands. A sense of community and belonging would make a lot of difference.
GDW, Orpington
We live in a hedonistic society, where self-centred indulgence is actively promoted among the 'consumers'. The new 'enlightened', politically correct values being marketed out there are just a cover. Too many adults having children have themselves the mentality of a selfish, spoilt child (though few would even partially admit this).
NN, London, UK
When you have conquered the anger from loss of hope and given everyone the education that they need to have the opportunity to succeed then you will have the civility of days gone by. In American we treat teenagers as if they are from another planet. And some days there are! But if you want people to have respect you must treat them as individuals and not a pack of bad kids or teenagers. If you want to know what is usually wrong with the screaming child on the grocery store floor look up a couple of feet at the person pushing the cart. No government is going to have time to police that! Try teaching parenting in high school. We have nothing that prepares any one for the hardest career they will ever have - parenthood.
Mary Colby, Maryland, USA I think it is difficult to learn respect if there is little meaningful communication between adults and their offspring. I would start by taking away the kids' cellphones.
Matt Meeking, Puerto Princesa, Philippines
We are reaping the harvest of a breakdown in discipline in schools, homes and general standards everywhere. No one cares anymore about anything, no one queues or can be bothered to do anything unless it is self gratifying. The stations go uncleaned, the parks are rundown, urinate in the street - who cares? Nobody takes responsibility anywhere. And if you get in their way, they will hurt you, safe in the knowledge they will go unpunished by a weak police force who don't want to intervene.
Mark Anthony Walkling, Beckenham, Kent
Problems in today's society have little to do with the government. It wouldn't matter which party was in, things would be as they are now. Media has a lot to do with it, however I don't agree with blaming outside influences. At the end of the day what goes on in families is ultimately the family's responsibility.
Benny, London, UK
This whole culture is born out of the Welfare State. The Government has taken 'caring' out of the people's hands. The result is what you see. Selfish, uncaring individuals who expect the State to provide their housing, child care, health care and take no responsibility for their actions.
John, France
I am a police Child Protection officer. I have lost count of the number of useless, and even just plain nasty, parents I have met over the past decade. Good parenting is not a 100% solution, as well-brought up children can still be led astray by their feral peers. But ultimately, children act nasty because they emulate the examples around them.
Neil, London
| How well do people know their neighbours these days? |
Perhaps a sense of community would help - how well do people know their neighbours these days? What about the people next to them? We increasingly live in an isolated world where there is no interaction - so the "me, me, me" culture expands. A sense of community and belonging would make a lot of difference.
GDW, Orpington How can you teach or encourage respect? Government only has certain tools at its disposal - the stick of legislation and the carrot of benefit/tax break/etc. Morality and responsibility are at the root of respect - those are much deeper seated issues which need addressing.
GDW, London
There is a vicious cycle of poor parents creating dreadful children who then in turn become worse parents. Most people seem to think that having children is something they can do but something everyone else will pay for. There is a frightening lack of responsibility amongst most parents. Unless we force people to be responsible for the behaviour of their children until the age of maturity this will never change. Responsible adults plan their families, teach their children values and are responsible for their children's actions, Tragically these parents are few and far between and being the better educated, richer classes with demanding jobs are actually having less children later, whilst those least well adjusted or equipped to be parents are having more children earlier.
Mark, Bristol
I have seen so many adults behave in an irresponsible and unpleasant manner, is it any wonder that children are doing the same? There's no point lecturing the youngsters if you don't lead by example.
H. Ahmed, UK
I see many children ordered around by their parents, told to 'move it' and 'shut up' not out of frustration, because that's how they communicate with them. I certainly have no respect for anyone who speaks to me like that and quite frankly I'd tell them where to go.
Sandie Smith, Grangemouth
I think it has become an unfortunate truth that the culture of respect upheld by so many in the years preceding the 1990's has been replaced by a worrying yob culture, consisting of intimidation and anti-social behaviour. The government will undoubtedly have its work cut out in attempting to halt this decent into lawlessness, mainly due to the fact that the problem has been effectively "swept under the rug" for so long, allowing it to escalate. Tackle the problem now!
Russell, Midlands, UK
| We could all use a little more civilisation in the world |
The government here in Brazil is doing a campaign about how a "good example", as the motto goes, "costs little and is worth it", about how saying simple things, such as "good morning" or "thank you" make a difference in people's lives. Personally, I believe no harm can come from such a campaign, but I'm not sure of its impact on a large scale, when the media shows attitudes everywhere that contradict that idea. People's ego-centric way of life and the rush to "make it" have made us forget those little everyday kindnesses. And we have a lot of bad examples from our authorities and so-called celebrities worldwide, don't we? It may sound hypocritical to tell people "do what I say, not what I do". Nevertheless, if such campaigns can change the behaviour of some for the better, no matter how few, I guess it's a good thing. We could all use a little more civilisation in the world.
G. Aquino, Brazil I'm surprised this government has failed to see the problems of bad parenting looming over the horizon. If you put people in very bad housing, you will create stress in the family. After all, the family has to live in a home! I see so much distress in the middle of London, working with young people who have been excluded from school because of their failure to behave well, and it comes from the fact that they live in so-called communities which are, in fact, little more than battlegrounds for gangs who can remain anonymous in their ugly, anonymous surroundings on large housing estates. It is these estates which are feral first, followed by the kids who live in them. If Tony Blair wants to see respect, he must clear out the selfish designers of 'social' housing.
ZR, London, UK
I have worked in the police and in social services. I have seen the best and worst in people; adults and children. I see parents 'dragging' their kids up, swearing at them, ordering them around and ignoring, if not laughing at their children's bad behaviour. What example is that? If they have no respect for themselves how can they expect their kids to respect them and to grow up to respect others?
Clare, Darlington, UK
I don't think anyone is born with a standard of "right and wrong" or with a standard of good behaviour, it has to be learned during early years. If no-one is teaching this, and reinforcing that good behaviour produces better results and bad behaviour has penalties, then who will learn these basics? Today's ideas that any behaviour is acceptable is dangerously flawed.
Steve Long, Wokingham, UK
A culture of respect has to be based on some kind of values, which I don't see reflected here in the opinions much. My own 3 children are now young adults (19 and up) and are wonderful young people who have or are preparing for caring careers (teacher, youth minister, and psychologist) and spend a lot of their time volunteering to help others. They were raised in a strict but loving environment and attended Christian schools because of our faith-based values. They were raised in the church community as well to be involved and not just spectators. We insisted that they get jobs at about age 15 in order to learn responsibility and the value of money, having to pay for their own fun activities as well as help with college. Their friends, similarly, are very much like they are.
A.K., Dallas, Texas
All this nannying and control by the state is causing whole generations to look for ways to show their individuality. The result is lack of respect for a culture that seeks to micro manage their lives. They must feel as if the walls are closing in.
Chris, Telford UK
| Every parent needs to take responsibility for their own children |
We've developed a culture where we take no responsibility for anything. Parents blame the state, school, TV, the internet, anything but themselves for children becoming violent and rude. Every parent needs to take responsibility for their own children. We can't blame society or anyone else.
Ali, UK The so-called "culture of respect" strikes me as being based on a temporary social solidarity that came into being as a result of two world wars. Those who harp on about the "good old days" are being selective. I wonder how many of them would have liked to work around the East End of London at night in, say, 1890? For the most part, people in the UK (and most other places I have been to) are polite and helpful. That we have a problem with small groups of young thugs is neither news nor surprising (mods and rockers, anyone?). I have lived abroad for years, and reading many UK papers sometimes gives me the impression that the UK is going down the tubes rapidly. Then I come back for a visit and find things pretty well unchanged.
Max, Abu Dhabi, UAE
The "family" of which some posters write is not the solution, it is actually the problem. The so-called "Nuclear Family" was an invention of the Victorians. There is a reason why Asian students do significantly better than their British counterparts and, it's got nothing to do with discipline or corporal punishment. Traditional Asian families do not consist of merely two parents and their children! The benefits are there for all to see.
Harry Webb, Broadstairs
Travelling to and from London every day I consistently return home disappointed and stressed due to other people's lack of consideration. From anything to spitting on the floor to using mobiles and loud music on trains, people seem to be in their own worlds.
Sarah, Essex
I taught in comprehensives for 4 years and the number of parents who simply refused to believe how badly their children behaved was shocking.
Emma, Brum
| Adults should not have to negotiate their authority over children! |
It is not hard to see why things are going so badly wrong when so many adults trot out the ridiculous "respect has to be earned" mantra. It does not - parents, teachers and others in authority have automatic respect by virtue of their education, training and experience, they do not have to "earn" it - certainly not from those who aren't even old enough to vote! The sooner we get away from this "children are little adults" notion the better. Adults should not have to negotiate their authority over children!
Matt Munro, Bristol, UK It's a dangerous thing when the government starts an indoctrination programme for the population to respect its officials, regardless of whether that respect is justified. It is also doomed to failure. A more intelligent approach would be to improve our educational system and social structure.
Graham Shelton, Oxford, England
Parents are not always to blame for a child going 'off the rails'. The family may fit Mr Blair's ideal family picture but what about other influences. My friend has excellent parents yet she has taken to drinking and smoking because it is what everyone thinks is cool. Yes, sometimes parents are to blame but it is not always the case.
Vicky A, Twickenham
The sight of John Prescott punching someone or the tape of Ken Livingstone abusing a reporter says a lot about our country. Both are high ranking public officials. Both should have resigned on the spot or been sacked. Until the government sets a standard, why on earth should anyone listen to their bleatings about respect and good behaviour?
Kathy, UK
I am convinced that this has a great deal to do with people's attitude towards the state and the lifestyle they have been forced to live because of bad decisions taken by inept governments. We now have the highest taxes for a generation, public services are on their knees, houses are too expensive for most average earners to buy and crime and social problems are on the increase. All in all the standard of living and quality of life in this country has been falling for some years. The attitude of people in today's' society is, I believe, a reaction to that fact. It's sticking two fingers up at the world.
Paul S, Essex
I recently allowed people in a ticket queue to go ahead of me so they wouldn't miss their train. Four girls, all of whom looked under 16, were extremely polite and thanked me very much. A middle aged couple looked down their noses at me when I offered to let them go ahead and didn't say thank you! This is by no means an isolated incident of the young showing up the old.
Amy, Hove, UK
| The only way to encourage more respect in society is via long-term education |
When will this government realise that you can't force people to adopt a particular attitude or principle by imposing draconian laws? The only way to encourage more respect in society is via long-term education - for both kids and parents. Issuing contracts and orders will only serve to make parenting feel like a chore and a duty rather than a blessing.
Dean Gargano, London, UK Try this: Can a person honestly respect others if he has no respect (i.e. a sense of self worth and value as an individual) for himself? Personally I fear that so much in today's society, hyped up consumerist ads, stereotyping - you name what you like, detract immensely from people really appreciating themselves for who they are.
Graham, Cobham, UK
It may be an old adage, but respect is a two-way street. It is to be both given and received in an ideal situation. However, no-one on the planet lives in an ideal situation. Maybe we need to look at a bigger picture and at our ever increasing population. Our old ideas of respect worked well in a time when there was literally more space for each person to occupy in their daily world. You could give someone some "room" in the literal sense as well as the figurative. However, urbanisation and population growth has made this more difficult and as this is one of the key aspects of what we consider to be respect, than it is rapidly disappearing. Maybe if we redefine some of what respect is, we can relearn how to give and receive it.
Mara, Canada
Children should show more respect for adults - but it works the other way too! When I am out shopping I am often shocked to see the way parents and carers speak to their children. Today I saw a woman pushing a little boy and dragging him along. I asked her how she would like it if someone behaved that way to her! She pointed out that I "obviously didn't have children" - and that is true - and I countered that if I did, I would treat them more kindly. I believe that most children will return in kind the way that they are treated.
Sally Roberts, London, UK
I see that you lovely people here in the UK are having the same problems we in the USA are having. My sympathies to you. Long hours at work and high taxes take a toll on anyone, especially a single parent of four wonderful children. I pray that you will find answers to your dilemma. I see several good answers in these e-mails
Susan, Jacksonville, Al, USA
| Adults freely admit they can't quite keep pace |
Some are perhaps too quick to point the finger at liberal parents. My parents spent their teen and early adult years in the 60's, and I later received a very liberal upbringing as a result. It is precisely because of their tolerance, understanding and 'make love, not war' attitude that I am polite, considerate and willing to help others because I want to, not because there's something to gain from it. I believe it has less to do with the liberal/ traditional debate and more to do with the rapidly changing social environment children grow up in. Adults freely admit they can't quite keep pace - how do they expect children to?
Robert, Manchester, UK I hate hearing that respect must be 'earned'. This should not preclude people from having basic common courtesy or manners.
M. Spincer, Heckmondwike
As usual, the blame-the-working-mother excuse is wheeled out. Well, my mother was a single mother and decided to go back to work, relying on her own mother to care for me and my sister, and we both turned out fine because the time she did spend with us was spent parenting us properly.
Lily, London, UK
We need to look at the reasons behind this mess - parents are encouraged to return to work as soon as possible. This is madness! My mother didn't return to work until I had started school (although this was back in the late 80's and early 90's) so she actually spent some time with me during those 4 very important years.
KP, England
Birth certificates should have instructions printed on the reverse. Simply plain advice and tips.
Anthony, Huddersfield, England
Anti social behaviour is just symptomatic of wider cultural issues affecting everyone in the UK. Targeting youth and 'difficult' families alone will compound, not cure, problem behaviour.
Matt Rye, Maidstone, Kent
The breakdown of discipline in schools has led to a lack of respect for all forms of authority.
Graham Ridler, Leeds, UK
| There aren't deterrent punishments in place in this country |
My sister was mugged two weekends ago and thankfully she wasn't physically hurt I was shocked when I learned that the only meaningful punishment for the attacked (if he was caught to begin with) won't be more that a reduced sentence. There aren't deterrent punishments in place in this country so how do you want people to respect the laws and regulations?
Luma, London The problem is that too many people are full of their "rights" and have no concept of their "responsibilities". Society it seems is always to blame, and no I'm not a right winger harking for the 50s. I'm 26 and raised in a liberal environment. It just happened to be an environment where I knew actions (positive and negative) had consequences. Needless to say I soon tired of negative responses and went out of my way to avoid them.
Stuart, Ballymena, NI
The problem is that we now live in societies where everybody knows their rights and, right or wrong, wants to exercise them without any consideration for the other person's rights. Kids from the mid 70s and up are imbued with this attitude and our wrong minded "political correctness" upholds this view, to the detriment of a civilized society. Abolish political correctness and it will change for the better.
Steve Davis, Mississauga, Canada
I recently allowed people in a ticket queue to go ahead of me so they wouldn't miss their train. Four girls, all of whom looked under 16, were extremely polite and thanked me very much. A middle-aged couple looked down their noses at me when I offered to let them go ahead and didn't say thank you. This is by no means an isolated incident of the young showing up the old.
Amy, Hove, UK
| Kids who have no respect have kids who have less respect |
No more do-gooders telling us how to bring up our kids. Remember years ago when a policeman could clip you round the ear, then take you home and boy would your dad be angry. Today kids are told be good and if you're bad it's not your fault. Kids who have no respect have kids who have less respect.
John, Manchester I'd like to know when Tony is going to do something about the culture of whining in the UK and many Western countries. Alexa of Derby is the only one to get it right. The UK is fine. This is media hype.
Eric, Manila
I am a working single parent who finds more than enough time to spend with my child. Yet I have neighbours who don't work and who have no time for their children. Patience, discipline and attention are the things that bring respect. When children are ignored they will yell. Stop ignoring your children and they will grow up with respect for themselves and others.
J Wright, Newcastle upon Tyne
The social structure of our modern life has had a major impact on how children are raised. Parents rarely actually raise their children; this is done by care-givers, schools, and television. Without major changes in our economic structure and our personal priorities, this trend of rude and callous behaviour will only worsen. This has been a problem for decades now and a definite step should be taken to help bring the issue of respect to every day life; not just for political correctness.
J. Conner, California, USA
Respect must be earned. It is not a god-given right to people in authority. This includes parents and teachers. If a child is treated with respect, it is likely to respond to respect from people in authority.
Jane, Leics, UK
| We should be conscious that the state cannot solve all the problems of society |
Perhaps a lack of strong parenting together with external distractions can be attributed to the issue over enough respect in our society. In addressing this issue we should be conscious that the state cannot solve all the problems of society.
Matt, Wales I was always brought up to believe something about something, but as I have moved on, got older and experienced a lot more my views on what I have been brought up to believe of something has changed. Its not how you parents bring you up but what you learn through life itself that makes you who you are.
James Mason, Neath, Wales
One reader decried 'liberal attitudes'; my parents gave me a liberal upbringing yet I feel no desire to commit acts of vandalism or violence. The greater cause is the lack of personal responsibility, a lack of the acceptance that if you commit an act you alone are responsible for that act, not 'society' or anything else. The ever-increasing use of the television or internet as a babysitter is allowing children to receive conflicting information about basic morality.
Ian, Cardiff
I recently visited Singapore which is known to some people as the country with many rules. There are fairly harsh consequences for unlawful actions and because of this it is a very orderly place and a pleasure to visit. That's what the UK is missing, real unpleasant consequences for inappropriate behaviour, there are no deterrents anymore.
Rachael, Newcastle
| The main problem is that most children now have two working parents |
I think the main problem is that most children now have two working parents. I know many children, including my own, who were brought up very liberally but have turned out very responsible socially aware adults. But at least one of their parents was always around to guide them. It doesn't matter how good a parent is if the children rarely see them.
Carol Mason, Pembrokeshire, Wales We must take classes and pass a test every few years to drive a car, but anyone can reproduce and that makes them a parent. Surprise - most don't know what to do and the results are everywhere.
Marilyn, Florida, USA
The lack of personal accountability and the prevalence self-centred attitudes has prompted the degeneration in social behaviour.
Kathryn Greenwood, Preston, Lancashire
I think that a major factor here is the decline in well-paid, regular work for men because of the changes in the economy. If all there is to look forward to is a life of uncertainty, then children at school will simply not engage. Economists are as much to blame as parents, and both have been around for much longer than Mr Blair.
Andrew M, Walsall, UK
Here we go again with yet more "street cred" garbage. Anti-social behaviour has increased because this government has systematically torn apart the very structural foundation of our society - namely the family. The government's strategy has clearly required conscious effort so I wonder what hidden agenda has, and still is, being followed here.
Les, Essex, UK
To have respect for others you need to have respect for yourself, and you need others to respect you when you are a child. Children in the UK are routinely ignored by there parents, and when they try to get their parents attention for a few moments are told 'shut up mummy/daddy is busy'. British parents should be shown a video of Spanish or Italian families if they want respectful, well behaved, happy children.
Richard Boesch, Xativa, Spain (ex UK) I like England, I like living here, I don't think there really is a major problem. Every country has its yobs and its scroungers. The difference is that right now the media are choosing to highlight these people and as a result we assume their numbers must be escalating.
Alexa, Derby
Some time ago there was a debate about whether mothers who stayed at home with their children were 'lazy' or 'too stupid' to do anything else. Until we change this attitude and respect children enough to think we should encourage and help mothers to take care of their own children we will not see an improvement.
Jacqueline, Wickford, UK
How can a 'culture of respect' be introduced when parents have to think twice before slapping a child for fear of being arrested and charged with child abuse. If a police officer gives too stern a warning he or she has to worry about being accused and charged with police brutality. It's a crazy upside-down world.
Allen T, CA, America
| I think parents should be trained to be parents |
I think parents should be trained to be parents. Many nowadays have no idea so the rest of us have to suffer the consequences of an underclass out of control and getting worse. Why do schools, with their hands tied, and the decent public have to suffer? The drinking age should be raised to 21 and those pubs breaking this law should lose their licences.
Michael, Plymouth, UK Here's a suggestion that should get the loony left and liberal do-gooders dander up: bring back national service. A two year stint with good old fashioned army discipline will do more than any parenting order. Discipline for all teens will do them no harm
Brian, Lichfield, Staffs
I live in Holland where children aren't really disciplined in their early years, they are expected to learn for themselves. To most of us ex-pats, it seems as though most young Dutch children are extremely rude, but I guess it works in some way because most adult Dutch people are actually much more respectful and polite than people I saw in the UK.
Jennifer, Netherlands, ex-UK
Research has shown that if a child's parents are poor or ill-educated, then the child is also likely to be poor and ill-educated - and it is this group that is most likely to be delinquent or criminal. Let's spend our taxes on education, not enforcing crank parenting laws.
James, London
As a former UK resident, I say of course a culture of respect can be introduced. It has always been in evidence in the UK until last year and this year. Natural born Britons are the most polite people in the world. This is why tourists love going to the UK. The rude folks I met are non Brits working in the UK. I think anyone who becomes a UK resident or is given a work permit needs to be educated on how to treat people. Simple good manners and a smile go a long way.
P A Livingston, Florida, USA
For today's anti-social youth, the blame does not always lie with parents. For example, my sister, 16, and I, 19, were brought up with the same opportunities and privileges, and were taught to always be polite. But while I would consider myself a model citizen, my sister is a loud, surly, yobbish youth. It has sprung from her experiences at school, the friends she keeps and her general life experiences.
Sofie Maxard, Oxford
| How exactly are we supposed to change an entire generation when our daily lives are so anti-family? |
Too little, too late from Mr Blair. How exactly are we supposed to change an entire generation when our daily lives are so anti-family? These days both parents are forced out of the home and into the workplace just to make end meet as a result of the outrageous cost of living. As a result kids are left feeling neglected and quickly fall in with a bad crowd in order to get the attention that they should be getting from their parents and family.
Jay, Crawley The state has been taking responsibility away from people for decades through the machinery of the NHS, state education and the welfare state. It is not surprising that people now expect it to do everything for them and see no reason to behave respectfully towards each other. If we want to get back to a society that accepts that it has responsibility to everybody else, then we have to give back to people the responsibility for those things.
John Moss, London, UK
It just has to be faced we are living in "Bear Pit Britain" that is why I am getting out. When you have lived abroad you realise how bad things have become. I tremble for the future of this country.
John, UK
I have just entered the teaching profession from industry. If you expect and accept low standards of behaviour or learning from pupils, that is what you will get.
Anon, England
When you watch shows such as Jamie Oliver's School Dinners it is clear that these kids are out of control due to poor diets. A friend of mine is a teacher and she said quite a few of her kids arrive each day with bottles of Coke and chocolate bars as their lunch. Top this with parents' fear of proper discipline and you have a double disaster that starts young and continues! Tony Blair's proposal simply does not hit where it needs to - which is at home. Good diets. Proper discipline.
Simcha Reid, Alloa, UK
As someone who works part-time in retail, it is not teenagers or young customers that are the rudest, but the middle-aged and the elderly. Often I'll open a door or assist them, and don't even get as much as a "Thank you" or even a smile in return. What will the government do about the lack of respect there, or is this another excuse to make scapegoats out of teenagers again?
Matt, Angus, UK
My experience echoes that of Matt (Angus, UK). I work in front-line customer service, and the people who are verbally abusive to staff are not the young, but people aged 40-50, with a small number of elderly folk. It makes me want to cry when I see parents in my department telling children to "shut up or I'll smack you". Often these children are behaving themselves, and just tried to ask their parents a question. I am amazed that, with a tiny number of exceptions, all of the children and teenagers I've dealt with have been polite and respectful when treated like proper, thinking human beings. Where do they learn this? Certainly not from their elders.
Julie, Nottingham
Long live liberal attitudes - I bought my children up liberally. I taught them to question, ask and not accept orders from authority blindly. Result - two courteous, thinking humans who are both studying for Ph.D.s at Cambridge. Why? They were taught to think for themselves, which is the essence of liberal values.
Jack, Essex
| It is far too simplistic say the problem is caused by one facto |
I have worked with disaffected young people for many years and while I would agree that behind almost every young offender there is a problem at home, it is far too simplistic say the problem is caused by one factor such as working parents or single mums. In my experience youngsters need parents who give them clear, consistent boundaries and show an interest in them. Parents who are unwilling or unable to do this don't fall into one category - I've seen plenty of difficult kids who have a parent or parents at home all day for example. As the majority of young people still do know how to behave it is clear that large numbers of single mothers and working parents are doing a good job.
Suzanne B, Herts, UK You have to take a test to obtain a driving licence, you need a licence to have a television so why not have a test and licence to become a parent?
Dale, Nottingham
Respect they cry. This is so rich from a government that shows little respect for the people who elected it! People need to have a self worth and self respect in order to be able to show respect for others. Our young people of today feel little self worth. Again the spectre of Political Correctness has eroded respect as it encourages people to behave like yobs and scream the Human Rights Act in their defence. A return to good old fashioned common sense. When I was in primary school if an adult visitor entered the classroom we all stood. We were taught the consequences of our actions and how they affected others. Respect must be given in order for it to be shown.
Carl Thomson, SoT Staffs
Isn't it ironic that this government, which has been responsible for the systematic dismantling and undermining of centuries-old institutions and traditions, should now have belatedly woken up to the damage they have done to the social fabric of our nation. Still, one fancy speech and it should all be fine again, eh?
Geoff, Portsmouth
Remember the 60's and 70's when it was fun to yank the chain of authority and we all needed to do our own 'thing'. Welcome to the aftermath.
Keith, USA
| Our police are not unable to deal with loutish behaviour - political correctness prevents them from doing so |
Paul from Colchester: Our police are not unable to deal with loutish behaviour - political correctness prevents them from doing so. To act otherwise would bring accusations of "brutality". It's pathetic.
Peter, London, UK We will only attain a culture of respect when our society is changed. Empty talk from politicians will do nothing to change things. Face facts, our society is greedy, arrogant and vain and until we tackle the basic immorality in our lives, respect and dignity will be things of the past. It's no good blaming scapegoats, young people for example, we must all shoulder the blame and do something positive for our society instead of being so selfish all the time.
Jennifer Hynes, Plymouth, UK
Far too much interference from the state which has nurtured a greed culture. Materialism is apparently the goal for many. So many young parents offload their kids to whoever will take them. It makes one wonder why they have kids - just another fashionable must have appendage perhaps. PC has gone crazy in this country and its little wonder we have a generation who respect no one, not even themselves.
Mae Bishop, Cumbernauld Lanarkshire
It takes both time and effort to teach children to be polite and respectful of others. I make a point of telling this to my peers who comment on how well my children behave. Unfortunately, many parents these days do not want to take the time or the effort. Parenting contracts will not have any impact on these people.
Mauryzia, Houston, TX, USA
| The government could start by showing some respect for the people of this country |
The government could start by showing some respect for the people of this country. They should also learn that government "incentives" based on the week's hot topics and a few sound bytes generally achieve nothing.
Paul, UK The whole tenor of our society is drifting towards boorish behaviour. From photos of drunken "celebrities" in the tabloids, tales of excesses by city traders in the "quality press". Programmes like Big Brother and reality TV all reinforce the message that only "I" count and to hell with the consequences.
Barry, Bromely, Kent
How about the Schools get given back the right to bring order and respect? It is since our government has stopped teachers from being able to control pupils that things have got worse. It is a balance. The schools have to be able to discipline them too.
Nina,
I think the comments regarding the U.S. by John Farmer, Henley-on-Thames, UK, are misguided at best. Why mention the U.S. at all? A government can not tell parents how to raise children and a government can not make people civil. The next time you see someone being un-civil, say something to them or their parents. You don't have to stand there quietly boiling!
Michael, Calif, USA
I hear so many people talking about their children knowing and understanding the difference between yes and no. This is part of it, but the most essential part is for the mother and fathers to be mentors, who are respected by their offspring for what they are and what they do. Regrettably it seems that today there are many that have little to respect in the parents.
Norman West, Truro England
How dare Tony Blair say lack parenting is to blame for problems when his government has systematically withdrawn all support for marriage? Start encouraging people to get married and not to give up at the slightest problem and we shall see less problem children who have no stable Mum/Dad role models to look up to!
Catherine Davies, Minehead, England
The core unit of society is the family. As long as there are troubled families, one can expect to find a troubled society.
Samuel. Paranavitana, Toronto, Canada
I was always under the impression that respect was earned ... I suppose it's so much easier when it simply at the end of a court order.
Steve, UK
| Many parents have to rely on others to look after their children |
Surely the best way to get parents to spend more time bringing up well adjusted, respectful children is to stop encouraging both parents to go out to work. How can you expect parents who only see their children for a couple of hours a day (at a time when they are all most tired) to have time or energy to instil the positive attributes Mr Blair would like to see? Many parents have to rely on others to look after their children for the majority of their waking hours.
Piers, Reading Over the last 30 years, it has become "bad" for a mother to stay home with the children. One wonders - could the recent poor parenting be the result of feminist movements decades ago?
Mark Humphreys, Staffordshire
Well done Mr Blair. Its about time someone had the gut to tell the truth.
Andrew Walley, Sunderland / UK
Having travelled to a good many countries, I've already decided that my children are not going to be brought up this country. The cause is liberal attitudes with no clear boundaries, the cure? I really don't know.
Jonathan Owen, Cannock, England
How can the government hope to introduce a "culture of respect" when it blames an entire generation for the problems caused by a small minority?
Andy, Droitwich, UK
I notice many people on here bewailing the behaviour of children, without consequence or thought for others. Do you know what YOUR children are doing right now?
Sarah Halton, Amersham, UK
Respect is best acquired early before school starts so it is the job of the parents. If they do not teach respect that is not the fault of society or the government or some other nebulous scapegoat. So the cure for a lack of respect is obvious, make the parents pay what it has cost others to do the job. Within one generation the prisons will be half emptied.
Martin FitzGerald, Geneva Switzerland
| We need a stronger sense of community |
I see so many parents afraid to curtail the freedom of their children as though unbridled freedom is the highest value to which we all should aspire. They do not care about the consequences of what their children do because they barely know their neighbours or other people in the same street. We need a stronger sense of community and to be able to enforce the limits of acceptable behaviour.
Andrew, Derbyshire Grown ups are frightened and intimidated by groups of children under the age ten. If these young thugs are not dealt with now they will turn into criminals living from the state. The trouble is, we are onto the third generation of wild children who are not taught right from wrong. They do not respect anything or anyone. The parents who are bringing them up are normally kids themselves or they don't know right from wrong. If it is not brought into hand now it is going to become a nation where you are scared to walk the street in.
Sarah Coulter, Hexham
You only have to watch Supernanny to realise where the problems often lie. What are the first things she does every time she deals with the children: 1. sets the ground rules, 2. sets the discipline procedure when the rules are broken. If these are set when children are young it will shape the rest of their lives and they will be better for it. And though I feel I should have the right to smack my child if necessary, as a parent it is great to see that it can be done without resorting to physical means.
Chris, Bracknell
Just make parents co-defendants for their children's actions. If they couldn't have changed what happened the court will find them innocent. If they could then they are accessory. This will make sure that parents take responsibility for their children's actions.
Dave, Cheltenham
This government has created the culture by taking the power to discipline away from parents, by giving youngsters too many rights over their elders. I think the government has interfered too much in raising our young.
Nick, Kent
Working in a Juvenile Young Offenders Institute, I am shocked by some of the crimes these teenagers are rightly imprisoned for. On reading their 'offender assessment' however, time after time these kids simply haven't had a stable family upbringing. There is a problem with modern parenting and any move by the government to try and tackle that is more than needed. Otherwise who else is going to do it?
Iain, Nottingham
Thinking back to when my brother was going through adoption procedure for his two girls the checks were rigorous. It seems that parental control is looked at by some as old fashioned and restrictive or even an infringement of the child's liberties. What about good behaviour - it should be elementary. After all it used to be the 'the norm' for those of us interested enough to remember.
Gaynor, Barnstaple
I have 3 teenage boys who are respectful and courteous and know right from wrong and this is purely because I take my responsibilities as a parent seriously and don't blame other people when things occasionally go wrong. My children know the rules and the consequences should they break them. Why do other parents find it so hard to be in charge!
C. Webster, Harrogate, England
| Less political correctness and more common sense is needed |
I find it rich that the values that have been sneered at by the liberal elite for so long are suddenly top of their agenda. The policy of penalising hard-working parents in order to reward those happy to live off the State has come home to roost. At one end of the scale, parents work long hours to pay their taxes and provide a roof over the head of their children; at the other, parents abdicate any responsibility for their offspring to the State which, after all, does everything else for them. Less political correctness and more common sense is needed otherwise it can only get worse.
Sally, Manchester, UK Never mind how we got into this mess - I have the solution. Fencing. Houses all around my own have seven-foot plus fences going up, which seems to be the only way to stop, for example, people urinating in your front garden, which we had last night just past midnight. Turn your property into a prison camp and you'll be fine. Don't forget you'll need big gates too. Everything else is a waste of time.
Ian, York, UK
As a young, professional couple with established careers we find the prospect of having and supporting children difficult. Despite the fact that we have a strong desire to be parents and to raise good respectful children, the system just doesn't encourage us to do so. My partner's job is to support teenage Mums, often on benefits, who have far more support to raise their kids than we can ever get and hence are encouraged to do so, not least by my partner's job!
Steve, Derby, UK
Of course parenting skills are in decline. What do you expect when earning money means more to people than bringing up their offspring properly? People who return to work and offload their children onto "gran" have a lot to answer for.
James Robson, Scotland
| What example are these children picking up from their surroundings? |
I regularly see people leaving a pub opposite my house with children no more than 10 years old in tow after 11pm. I have also witnessed violent situations arise with these same children about. I have informed local authorities/ police, but nothing has been done. What example are these children picking up from their surroundings?
Anon, Greater Manchester How can it be possible for parents to bring up respectful children when British society is so dominated by messages of disrespect and humiliation through the media and in particularly the tabloid press? It is inconceivable for parents to generate a respectful environment for their children when they themselves do not live in a respectful culture.
Jenni Sayer, Norwich
Blair is full of fine words, but he has been prime minister for eight years and in that time the problems have escalated. We should not expect any improvement from his administration.
Leslie Mustoe, Loughborough
Respect is something that cannot be enforced in this country. Sadly the "take" society that we live in has destroyed any morals a lot of people had. Things are getting more and more like Clockwork Orange here.
Mark, Glasgow
Admittedly there is a growing culture of disrespect in Britain today that needs to be tackled, but Tony Blair's words will only fuel the accusations of nannyism being directed against his government. If Blair really wants to promote a fairer and better behaved society then he should perhaps start by shaking up our police force, who seem unable to deal with the epidemic of loutish behaviour.
Paul, Colchester
Our downward path towards being like America brings with it many problems. Greed and the desire for possessions combined with false values like celebrity worship all lead to undermine what used to be basic British values. Just look at what is happening in New Orleans regarding lawlessness and ask yourself did any of that happen the last time the UK saw massive areas under water? Then ask yourself whether you think things might be worse in ten years time, given the rate at which we seem to be turning to US values.
John Farmer, Henley-on-Thames, UK
I live in an area where we are terrorised by the teenagers on the estate. I can't go out by myself after dark any more. They regularly vandalise cars and property and hurl abuse at passers by. They even uproot parts of people's gardens and steal the plants. Whenever the police pick them up, they take them home and the parents give the police abuse. If the parents have no respect for the police, and it is almost a badge of pride to be brought home by them or get into trouble, then there is very little they can do to change the situation.
Claire, Birmingham
I want to put in a word for all the excellent parenting that goes on in this country as it hardly ever gets a look in. I've just come back from a family activity holiday in the UK where I met a lot of children of differing ages and backgrounds, all of whom were polite, respectful and extremely nice to be with. They were from families with one parent, two parents, step parents even grandparents. The common factor seemed to be adults in their lives who loved them, enjoyed their company and took an interest in them rather than leaving them to their own devices.
Lorraine, St Albans, UK
| The advantages of marriage have been eroded |
This is a ripe comment from a prime minister who has lead a government that has done more to damage the family unit than any government in the past. For example, the advantages of marriage have been eroded and single parenting encouraged in many ways including the easiest way to get housed by a council.
John Morse, Lavendon, UK Who does Tony think he is? How dare he presume to know what the best way to bring up my children will be?! I'm about to become a dad for the first time, and I no doubt will make plenty of mistakes, but I will fight any action that takes away the decisions from me on how to raise my child my way.
Paul Hartley, Nottingham, UK
No doubt yet another vast batch of "parenting support professionals" will be let loose on an unsuspecting world.
Steve, UK
My understanding is that children reflect the behaviour of their parents, and ultimately their parents (and society) reflect the behaviour of their 'parents', i.e. Government and 'The City'. So when they (MPs and captains of industry) start behaving, take responsibility for their misdemeanours and are seen to be punished for doing wrong, perhaps the rest of society will get the message.
TC, Lancs
The government have no chance of installing respect into the society of today due to the amount of liberals out there screaming about breaching human rights and civil liberties. The same people are living in the nice big houses away from the city, much like the politicians and judges, and are completely out of touch with the real world. The problem lies primarily in the courts, where criminals are being giving too lenient sentences. The only way to install discipline and respect is to send out a clear warning message through the courts that anti-social behaviour will not be tolerated.
Andrew Griffin, West Lancs
We have been 12 years learning how to be parents and are still learning. You have to be willing to change and to become the person your child(ren) need. Discipline is key along with having a set of principles and not waving from them. The most important thing is to keep your word to your kids and learn not just to mouth off at them; your yes is yes and your no is no.
Josh, Newport
| Young people need to feel that they are an important part of our society |
The government needs to adopt a more holistic approach to this problem. Bad parenting is just one factor. Young people need to feel that they are an important part of our society and that they have a responsibility to make a positive contribution to it.
Griff, Cardiff, Wales While I accept that parents have a part to play with improving respect, it needs to be with the backing of society. Materialism, liberalism and government interference with the rights of parents have all made the job of parenting untenable. To blame individuals for the problems with today's society is unfair and will not change the root causes of the problem.
Mark Juszkiewicz, Bury St Edmunds, England
Family life will not survive in the UK because we all have to work until we drop. Massive taxes, unbelievable prices for houses and transport. We can't all be housed, clothed and holidayed by the public purse like most politicians. Get off our backs, stop bleeding us dry - that would let us have time with our families. I'm sick of working a 13 hour day to subsidise all these pathetic government initiatives to solve problems they have engineered.
Nick, Brighton
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