The think-tank Civitas said wearing charity ribbons, holding silences and joining protest marches all indicated the country was in emotional crisis.

The author, Patrick West said in his report Conspicuous Compassion that "mourning sickness" was a substitute for religion and that people were trying to feel better about themselves by taking part in "manufactured emotion".

Are you "suffering" from mourning sickness? Is the UK is an emotional crisis? Send us your thoughts.

This debate is now closed.

SUGGEST A DEBATE This topic was suggested by Paul from the UK: Is the Civitas report (Conspicuous Compassion) right about national grieving? Send us your suggestions for Have Your Say debates

"Mourning" is an emotional response not a rational one. The fact that mourners may not have met the deceased is not the point. If someone feels a connection or is touched in some way by another then such an emotional response is entirely natural. It's about time that we started to express our feelings more openly like our neighbours on the Continent!
ML, London, England

I couldn't agree more. We drove past Lakenheath Air Base when the bodies of the two Soham children had been found. People were parking on the road and walking with their children, with bunches of flowers in their hands - almost akin to a pilgrimage. Its seems completely irrational that two English children can create this much hysteria when the same people can completely ignore the plight of children in the third world who die as a matter of course every day, or are treated like slaves or prostitutes.
Susan Payne, Norwich, England

The Civitas Report, whilst scathing, patronising and cynical, is pretty much spot-on. I am deeply unsettled by the trend of displaying seemingly unfounded grief publicly. The nation appears to be in a constant state of melancholy. How else could a song as tragic and introspective as Mad World get the Christmas number one single?
Richard Williams, East Midlands

Perhaps some simply have more compassion than others Sarah G., Leics

Perhaps some simply have more compassion than others. However, in some instances, it has reached a level that seems unhealthy. I will say though, that when I hear about a child who has died, it tears at my heart. I feel for those parents and I do find I feel a real sense of sadness about it.
Sarah G., Leics

Entirely right. I strongly suspect that a deeper study will reveal people indulging in such activities to reconcile quilt for their own emotional failings whether it be failing to support their elderly parents or balance the needs of their family to their work. These things are not their fault and they cannot do anything about it but they can reassure the world of their emotional credentials by indulging in the 'conspicuous compassion' noted.
Phillip Holley, UK, London

Whilst I can claim that I have never met Spike Milligan or Ian Dury, they both gave me immense pleasure through their work and to hear of their deaths was upsetting for me. Does this mean that I'm partaking in a celebrity grief crisis? No. The loss of a talented individual whose work had touched me on a personal level was reason enough for me to feel sad when they passed away.
Wayne, Surrey, UK

It is next to impossible to feel anything other than great sympathy for the families caught up in a tragedy. How the masses who descended on Soham to eat their fish and chips in the local graveyard thought they were helping is beyond me. Grief tourism - a disturbing term to describe a ghoulish activity. The author is exactly right.
Jonny, England

How can millions of people claim to have loved someone they never met? John, England

How can millions of people claim to have loved someone they never met? How can they claim to grieve when a celebrity dies? Sadly, the gullible are manipulated into this nonsense by the tabloid press - the Soham murders are a sad, but good example of this. A teenage boy was brutally assaulted and murdered in the same week as Soham, but there was nowhere near the same coverage, because, of course, he was insufficiently photogenic!
John, England

By indulging in manufactured emotion and an obsession with celebrity people are living life vicariously - perhaps because their own appear so empty. Perhaps if those who behave in this way turned their attention to their nearest and dearest (and all those they interact with on a daily basis) we might have happier homes and workplaces, where people feel needed and respected.
Jake S., London UK

Why would anyone care what other people are doing, especially if it doesn't hurt them or anyone else? Some people do feel genuine emotion and want to express it. Just because some don't doesn't mean they have a right to question the motivations of those who do. With celebrities, and in particular Princess Diana, people were expressing that she brought a lot of joy into their lives and she will be missed. The mourning went on for a few days - so what? Why tear apart other people for doing something you yourself may not believe in? Talk about a real waste of time!
Devorah, Jerusalem, Israel

The problem is that people have only a vision of today and their immediate surroundings. When some part of that, however remote, is removed they feel it as though it was important. The Christian message is the answer to finding the meaning of life as it is meant to be and dispensing with these meaningless gestures designed to placate a spiritual vacuum that help nobody, particularly the perpetrator.
R Scott-Watson, Fairfield, UK

Substitute grieving is on the same level as giving to charity out of guilt. Both avoid having to get involved in a more costly way with the fundamentals of the problem.
Trev, Lytchett, England

Do not presume to tell me or anyone else how to feel Rachel, London

How dare those of you who suggest that others suffer from "false emotion", there was nothing false about the way I personally felt for the people that died on 9/11, or loss I felt for their families. Do not presume to tell me or anyone else how to feel.
Rachel, London

This 'recreational grief' is part of the modern malaise of 'Celebrity Culture'. As the world changes and we lose connections we once had with family, and the community, people are desperate for something to connect to, whether it is real or not.
Chris Johns, Newcastle Upon Tyne

You only had to be in Soham last a few years back to see the world gone mad. I understood locals popping by to pay their tributes to Holly and Jessica, but hordes of people travelled from so far, it was really obsessive, strange and even disrespectful to the people in Soham, whether the media fuelled the 'national' mourning or vice versa, the town was swamped in media and visitors, it did the situation no good. The town had to get the USAF in to clear tonnes and tonnes of rotting flowers. It was a nice gesture, but I'm sure giving money to a child protection charity would be more thoughtful and productive.
Fern, Soham, Cambridgeshire

I think the same applies to those awful "shrines" you see at road crash sites. Where would you rather mourn a loved one who has died in this way? A quiet churchyard or cemetery or beside the stinking, noisy, dangerous cause of death? Come to think of it, you never see anyone actually there. Probably because it's all about show and not about real emotion.
Joy, London, UK

I believe that it is absolutely a positive sign Sunil, Mumbai, India

I believe that it is absolutely a positive sign, reflecting a more sensitive and a positive emotion of empathy which is in stark contrast to their predecessors who were more crude, shrewd, opportunistic and insensitive. I believe it is an indication of true civilized human behaviour.
Sunil, Mumbai, India

Yes, I watched bemused as the Princess Di death turned into a soap opera. I felt like I was an alien living in a country populated by gullible, half witted people who seemed to have no idea just why they were mourning.
Martin, Coventry, UK

Just the other day I was wondering, if I were to tie a bunch of flowers to a random lamppost on a busy road, how long would it take until there were ten more bunches tied up next to it. I don't think it is a sign of a caring society. If people really cared more, they'd do something constructive, like helping good causes, or in the case of the flowers by the road- driving more carefully.
C, South Yorkshire

Any loss is tragic to those directly involved or with an intimate knowledge of the deceased. However the large scale, mass hysteria that appears to accompany some tragedies these days is unfathomable. It is inexplicable to me how hundreds of thousands can suddenly become affected in the case of Princess Diana and yet very few seem to be affected by the death in action of British Service personnel in Iraq. It was an interesting contrast to see the scale and importance of remembrance of such casualties in Spain given the relatively low-key reaction by the majority of the British public.
Andy D, Oxford UK

The grief is really about people's lost faith Michael Banfield, Luton, UK

This report from Civitas is to be welcomed, and pulls no punches in its comments on British society. The grief is really about people's lost faith, lost meaning in life, and lost signposts and guidelines for life and death.
Michael Banfield, Luton, UK

Thank you - I'm normal! The media attention on various cases, the piles of flowers, general wailing for people you've never met just leaves me cold. It's almost as if people have to get themselves involved, for purely selfish reasons to make them appear a "good" person. As someone who has mourned for virtually all my family I find this attitude very offensive and insulting to the families involved.
Julie, Stockton

These observations miss the point entirely. Princess Diana made a great impact on people's lives and a genuine sense of loss was felt by a great number of people and this needed to be expressed. Without a framework of religious belief people are seeking for appropriate ways of channelling their grief, anger, hopes and fears. It does concern me, for example, that some people do not seem to know how to let go of the road-side shrines of flowers where a loved one died in an accident. I am a Christian and this gives me a balanced perspective on life and death that we need to rediscover. But I was very moved by Diana's funeral and I think it is these think tank academics who are the unfortunate cynics who need to be pitied.
John , Brighton UK

Yes there is a crisis. We're now in a culture with seventy year-old pop stars, sixty year-old pregnancies, forty year-old teenagers and where immortality is surely the next logical step. The Big Brother generation can't cope with the reality that we all go sometime but mourning a celebrity means we indulging in a little sadness but staying at a safe emotional distance.
Lorraine, St Albans, UK

It's not a sickness but rather a reflection of the easy and swift communication of information we have nowadays JohnM , UK

The report is an insult to the British people. Protest marches, wearing ribbons or expressions of sympathy are often the only way one can make a point. It may be to express disagreement against an inappropriate war, or an indication of support for a charity or an expression of appreciation of the life of someone perhaps not known personally but well known from the media, entertainment or contribution to society. It's not a sickness but rather a reflection of the easy and swift communication of information we have nowadays. Civitas needs to examine itself more closely before make judgements on the rest of us.
JohnM , UK

The media encourages us to live the vicarious life of a celebrity. Hardly surprising then that some get distraught when celebrities die.
Steve, Bury St Edmunds

Regrettably I do think that there can be an element of camaraderie by jumping on the bandwagon of mourning a tragic event and media involvement makes it almost embarrassing for people who do not openly join the mourners. Can no-one pay their respects privately without public display anymore? It has become very common where I live to attach flowers to lampposts where fatal car accidents have occurred. I find this tasteless. Yes give flowers to the family and at the funeral and petition the council to deal with accident black spots but do not trivialise death.
Anonymous, UK

I couldn't agree more: my mum died shortly after Diana and it was amazing how the people I knew who were getting most carried away with the public shows of grief etc were the ones who had offered me the least support in my personal tragedy. I found it not just tactless, but hurtful and insulting. Next time there is a high profile death in the media, look closer to home and see what you can do for someone you may know personally who may be suffering just as much.
Katie, Manchester, UK

Agree with a lot of the report as quoted - such grief for someone you've never met (and who certainly never knew you) is only valid if you can show at least as much for those near you when the time is appropriate. I was, however, a bit surprised to see protest marches lumped into the same category, when the report does advise 'getting out and doing something'. Sometimes, protesting is all that can be done - unless Civitas are advocating direct action, which I doubt.
Jon G, Huddersfield

I never really thought about it to this extent, but he's bang on the money. It follows alongside people making mini dramas to replicate what they've seen in the soaps. It's all attention seeking.
Callum W, UK

The UK used to be seen as a nation of stoic people who could weather any emotional storm with a "stiff upper lip". People around the world admired Brits for this. Now, it seems that the whole country has turned into a huge liberal, weeping, pathetic bowl of jelly over things such as TV characters, celebrities and people they've never met. How and why has the pendulum swung so far in the opposite direction? Isn't it time for some emotional balance in the UK?
Ken, London

Fully agree. This dumping of flowers etc (for others to clear away) is stupid in the extreme. In any other circumstances it's dumping rubbish,
Philip, Hertfordshire

Why don't people make a donation to a charity instead of buying flowers? Think of what the money spent on flowers when Diana died could have achieved.
Gill, Wilmslow, Cheshire

I agree with the report 100%. If people really cared and had any common sense, then surely it would be better giving the money you may spend on a toy or flowers to a charity or a fund? Has no one worked it out? How many hundreds, if not thousands of pounds (in Princess Diana's case) would be raised for charities instead of literally rotting in the streets?
James Playfair, Derby

Some people go over the top when expressing their feelings in public Frederick Copley, Newcastle upon Tyne

I think that you can feel honest emotions regarding someone you have never met, especially when someone has died when quite young or in other tragic circumstances. I do feel, however, that some people go over the top when expressing their feelings in public.
Frederick Copley, Newcastle upon Tyne

I think it's basically a class/education issue. I would bet money that the VAST amount of those who suffer from "Mourning sickness" are tabloid readers who can't spot the brazen manipulation of emotions that are the staple of such papers/
John, London, UK

Mourning is a very personal feeling. I see nothing wrong in people expressing their feelings over celebrities that they admire. It is healthy to allow these feelings to be expressed. People like Diana are moved into our homes by the media and it is natural to express our loves or hates. Mourning simply expresses our love and also feelings for the families left behind. What's wrong with a bit of love?
Raymond Rudaizky, London, U.K.

There does seem to be some mass hysteria that develops when somebody famous dies. If people focussed their compassion on their immediate friends and relatives then society would be better for it.
Giles Clinker, London, UK

It is a bit odd to grieve over a stranger - but not as bad as some people who mourn the death of a soap character!
Dan, UK

At last someone with the courage to say it. The outpouring of 'grief' we see at funerals such as Di's has more to do with taking part than genuine grief.
Gerry, Scotland

The Civitas report is right. People indulge in this kind of conspicuous compassion to feel good about themselves and to make a statement about how much they care, not to do any real good.
Hugh, London, UK

I have never understood the need to mourn someone you have never met, for example Di. You can feel for the survivors, the family etc. But to make a trek to leave flowers or toys is beyond my understanding. If you really want to commemorate the death of a person, why not give to their favourite good cause. Just think how much good would have been done if all the money spent on flowers for Di had been given to the charities that she supported.
Geoff, Perth, Scotland

It's just a shame that a complete waste of time and money like this ever sees the light of day AP, Edinburgh

Patrick West needs to get out more. It seems that he's quite prepared to criticise and emotionally pigeon-hole people, yet if you read this report you realise that it is self-serving egotistical half truths which have been published to try to justify Civita's existence. It's just a shame that a complete waste of time and money like this ever sees the light of day.
AP, Edinburgh

I notice the report takes a swipe at political demonstrations, too... which makes me wonder if Civitas have an agenda to push. At the very least, It's worth having a look at the "Guiding Philosophy" on their web site before deciding we're in a collective emotional crisis.
Sam Dodsworth, London

This phenomenon was most obvious with the anti-war protests. While many, I am certain, gave support from a genuine belief that the war was immoral, in equal measure, people went along simply to feel part of the crowd and because of a need to identify with a belief or strong feeling outside of humdrum daily life.
Naomi, Brighton

If it makes us a more caring society then it is a good thing. If it makes us believe that all human life is precious then surely no one can complain.
Marj, UK

This has to be the only country in which help lines are set up for people to ring up and cry when a favourite television character dies. I don't think the UK is suffering from mourning sickness, instead it appears to be 'out of touch with reality' sickness. To have members of the public attack an actor (note the word: ACTOR, meaning NOT A REAL PERSON) who plays a distasteful character, or who leave flowers for someone who they never knew or even met seems completely whacked to me.
Susan, London, UK

To Susan, who said "ACTOR, meaning NOT A REAL PERSON" - would you by any chance be a theatre director?
Alex, Edinburgh

I was ashamed to be British in the days following Diana's death. The way the plebeian population, egged on by a media frenzy, acted in those few days was pathetic. The complete removal of logic as people were overcome by false emotions, which the media said they should have, implies our population is mentally weak and emotionally unbalanced. I think the report got everything spot on.
Martin, England

Mass hysteria, however false, is not new but it is far more common than it used to be. Our emotionally detached and insular way of life has created a culture of superficiality and spiritually vacant competition. Love for our nation and an emotional attachment to our way of life is long dead. People have become like a flock of robotic birds blindly following the one in front. Nobody seems to ask where we are going or why we are going there. Individual thought is dying and is being replaced by mass apathy.
R.C. Robjohn, UK

These comments are insulting to people who have genuine sympathy for the suffering. Either Patrick West is a very unfeeling man or, worse still, employing tasteless tactics in being controversial to make a name for himself.
Sue, UK

Hardly does a week go by without another self indulgent outpouring of public hysteria Gail, London, UK

I believe the report is correct and hope its findings will strike a cord with many people. Hardly does a week go by without another self indulgent outpouring of public hysteria. It is interesting to note however that giving to charity or doing something else constructive does not increase at all.
Gail, London, UK

I don't think that going on protest marches is an expression of 'conspicuous compassion', it is the only way to express valid political views in a country where fear of bad publicity is a governments only incentive for listening to its people. However I do wonder if the expressions of grief we sometimes see may be a sign of how lonely many people in our society are, causing them to 'borrow' other peoples families in effect.
Kathy Bales, UK

It does amaze me when a disaster happens the way the whole country appears to go into mourning. I remember back to just a few weeks before Diana died and the amount of people who said wrong about her. All of a sudden their attitudes changed and it was as if she was their best friend.
Sarah, Chester, UK

It's not entirely true - why should our emotions be solely the preserve of organised religions which many of us (me included, alas), don't believe in? For example, the placing of flowers by roadside fatal accident spots is poignant. But the Princess of Wales' death was overblown. Lapel ribbons do a good job if they highlight AIDS and similar troublesome and genuinely tragic issues. But I think the pendulum has swung from traditional British stiff upper-lip to a healthier demonstrative culture.
John, London UK

I couldn't agree more. The day before Princess Di died, I was at the funeral of a friend who had died at an even younger age. The subsequent week of public hankie-wringing over Di left me completely cold. How come I managed to mourn my friend honestly, quietly and with the respect he deserved, yet millions of people who had never met this woman went completely over the top?
Anon, UK

I think it's got more to do with the media that tend to dwell on those events forever...
Moshe, London, UK

Well, thank God I'm not the only one that thought that.
Douglas, Milton Keynes, UK

Thank God that someone finally had the courage to say it James, Coventry, England

Thank God that someone finally had the courage to say it. This obsession with mourning those we have never met devalues true national commemorations like Remembrance Sunday, when we remember those who died for our country. It's not so much a substitute for religion as a substitute for the real values that we seem to have lost. In a world where we describe footballers as 'heroes', what hope is there for those?
James, Coventry, England

It's become a recreational hobby, grieving for those we don't really know. It's done because it makes people feel better about themselves, and makes them feel like a caring person. Celebrities and media simply create the manufactured emotion which can ruin a very caring moment.
John, Portsmouth

I feel that we have become a nation of celebrity lovers and looking into the rich and famous lives is an important pastime for many. The mass of media/press coverage of almost any event nowadays puts the celebrity right in our living rooms, they are almost part of the family. When something happens to a celebrity, many feel it is a part of the history or even background that has died or been hurt.
Ian Peter, Southport, England

I see it as a sign of a compassionate and caring society C Syme, London, UK

I don't think that public displays of 'grief' are a bad thing. People will always want to pay their respects to those who have inspired us or given millions of people hope or happiness throughout their lives. I see it as a sign of a compassionate and caring society. I think that the Civitas report is really quite cynical and it will no doubt annoy a lot of people. Who are they to say that people should not feel a collective sadness when something genuinely sad happens?
C Syme, London, UK

I think to lump together political unrest and charitable association with that of the public's obsession with the media is to simplify the problem. The first two issues are separate entirely and have more to do with the state of the country, I will agree however that people flooding highly publicized cases of tragic death or murder with tributes/flowers/cards/condolences is the public allowing themselves to be completely manipulated by the media. People die every day and all deaths are tragic, not just those that get air time. It's the classic 'sleight-of-hand' trick employed by magicians - showing you one thing to take your mind off the other.
Christopher Hogarty, Oxford, UK

I agree entirely with this - it was particularly sickening that such large quantities of people went to Soham when the families expressly asked people not to go to the services - people put there own desire to be seen to respond to tragedy above those for whom the tragedy is an actual event.
Stuart Sands, London, England

I think that sharing someone else's grief is a sign of compassion and humanity. When something really bad happens, I think it makes us stop, think and value our own life and family etc... I don't understand manufactured emotion?
Sharon Kasbia, Abbots Langley

Although there are obviously problems with the "stiff upper lip" mentality so ridiculed nowadays, it was a far, far better way to behave than this disgusting show of pseudo-emotion! Make no mistake - these "mass grief events" are largely manufactured by the media, who make everyone feel they are uncaring and selfish if they don't indulge. It is one symptom of the same disease that leads journalists to ask the bereaved "So how do you feel?", and the obsession with self-service to the detriment of everyone and everything else.
David, Bristol, UK

Rather than leaving flowers and teddies and indulging in public acts of false emotion, people should go out and do some good for the living.
John Carnie, United Kingdom