The children's charity said that boys often wait until they are "near breaking point" before they speak up because they feel it makes them feel "weak", and not like "real men".

Childline's chief executive Carole Easton said "With suicide rates among young males alarmingly high, it's essential that our campaign reaches as many boys and young men as possible."

The campaign, named Boys Allowed, will be launched on Tuesday.

Should boys be speaking out more about their problems? Do you think the Boys Allowed initiative will work?

This debate is now closed. Read a selection of your comments below.

Your reaction

Life can be hard and life can be cruel. All the talking in the world isn't going to change that. This touchy-feely stuff is nonsense. We are bringing up a bunch of self-obsessed, self-pitying, brats.
Andy, UK

How about rather than forcing people to talk about their problems, we do more to stamp out such problems arising in the first place? You can talk all you like about bullying, but until real action is taken, people will still be bullied. Stop attacking the symptoms and root out the causes!
Gareth Rippingale, UK

Male emotions are as equally important as female Jan, Scotland

Having a son, I would hate to think of him "suffering in silence", carrying around issues that have not been dealt with. Male emotions are as equally important as female. I have always been more conscious of my son's feelings, knowing how the male sex, in general, would rather bottle things up, than open up and discuss. Boys need more emotional input from their mums than girls do. Girls, from my experience having two daughters will usually openly discuss any problems they are experiencing. Speak to your boys mums, don't leave it too late!!
Jan, Scotland

While it's true that boys talk, they normally talk about football and computer games and not about their problems. While the workplace may remain male-dominated, society certainly isn't. Just watch the TV ads! Against this backdrop, anything that can help boys has got to be good.
Chris J, England

The fact of the matter is that when we ignore how we are feeling that feeling doesn't go away. Instead, it affects our moods and our relationships with others far more than if we look at our problems square in the face. It takes a lot more strength for a man to admit that he has a problem that to run away from it. And your friends and family will benefit as well.
David, Scotland

It sounds obvious, but I think we all need someone who's got the time and patience to really listen and try to understand us when we're vulnerable....unfortunately not everyone is that lucky when they're growing up. It's good that Childline are trying to help, but I don't think that this modern idea of "targeting" certain groups who are shown by statistics to be "more at risk" is the answer in the long-term. People of the wrong gender, class, race, or other subdivision are always going to be left out of the pigeonholes, causing more problems in later generations. I wish I could offer a sympathetic ear to some of your correspondents who feel they missed out early on!
Caro, UK

Men and women aren't as different as people seem to think. Being female doesn't automatically make it easier to talk about your problems and feelings. The happiest and nicest men I know are the ones who are prepared to share their problems and take advice.
Sarah ,UK

It is NOT a sign of weakness to admit our limitations - strength comes from within. Derek, London

As a 46 year old single dad with twins aged 14 (boy and girl) it falls to me to be both mother and father to the children. While any initiative which is of help to children is good, the best source of help is from the parents themselves. I've always encouraged compassion and strength in both my children equally and make it a point to cuddle them any chance I get. My 14 year old son is quite happy to hold my hand while we're out and about (as is my daughter).
Can I also add a quick word to Gavin of Wales:
It is NOT a sign of weakness to admit our limitations - strength comes from within. You'll find that when girls mature, they want a man who can open up and show his emotions, so you'd better start now ;) - everyone wants a compassionate partner at the end of the day - someone to both laugh and cry with - not some hard nosed individual incapable of showing any emotion.
Derek, London

Personally I would not wish to date any women/girl who did not want to hear my problems or my feelings, I hate this macho tough man image, it's demeaning, ignorant and stupid. How many relationships fail because we do not communicate properly? This is re-enforced by the movie/tv industry daily also, I long to see just one American movie where the woman supports the man in his job , just one. But instead all we see is him refusing to talk about it, and her shouting at him and putting him under more stress. How does this help men learn better ways? Also I can vouch for opening up for a different reason, I started drinking and taking drugs when I was 12 , I hated talking to people and was never encouraged to open up, only after learning how I felt and talking it through was I able to get clean and sober some 25 years later, and I am still learning how my emotions work. Any man or women who says this is wimpish, un-manly or silly is very wrong. I can tell you it was a million times harder to open up than it was to use drugs or alcohol.
Simon, UK

Perhaps people need to 'listen' more as well. There is a big difference between hearing someone and actually listening to them. A lot of times people ask things such as "so, how was school?" out of a sense of duty or habit, but switch off when it comes to listening to the response.
Lee, UK

Show me one adult, or child of either sex who doesn't have any problems, or who NEVER goes through, what could be described as 'depression' or misery. I'm sad to say is part of life, just as happiness is. Men and women are very different in the way deal with problems. Women talk to their girl friends, and men go to the pub and drink their cares away. It may not be ideal, but it's the way it is. The government and media can force feed us as much PC nonsense as they like, but at the end of the day, a man should be a man and a woman should be a woman.
Andy R, UK

When my husband died my seven year old was told "I know you've had your troubles but it's a new year, a new term and you must put it behind you; boys don't cry." This by a head teacher just at a time when my son was starting to talk about his dad's death. He then clammed up and it's taken years of struggling to get help and support to start making the difference. Whilst there are things that children aren't going to discuss, we can at least challenge the intolerance and ignorance of our society's stereotyping, so of which has been evidenced in other responses.
Anon, UK

I don't know why Childline have to come up with this. I thought the 90s man, who cries when he needs to, is a bit of an anachronism.
Graeme Phillips, Germany, normally UK

We have had hundreds of years of conditioning, we can't been seen as weak by admitting we have a problem John, England

Most people seem to be missing the point here, it's not about men-V-woman, it's about Young children in need of help, it is true young boys find it harder to express their feelings, after all we have had hundreds of years of conditioning, we can't been seen as weak by admitting we have a problem, I have three children, two boys and a girl, I have seen the "let's talk about this" attitude with my daughter, but have seen the "get on with it" approach to both my sons, the teachers involved were women, if you like statistics then just look at the suicide rate among young boys and young men, food for thought, by the way I had a perfectly balanced upbringing some of us are not so lucky.
John, England

Us lads have it quite tough you know. We can talk to our friends, but they have problems of their own and don't want to be burdened with yours. We can talk to our girlfriends but they usually see it as a sign of weakness and are likely to leave you. All that is left is the parents - which is often the cause of your problems. What do you do?
Gavin, Wales

I never had anyone to talk to about emotions as a teenager and cut myself as a way of dealing with negative emotions. This got worse over the years and I finally worked up the nerve to see my GP when I was 17. His advice: "If you aren't considering suicide, there's nothing I can do." His tone made me feel like I was wasting his time. I never had any intention of committing suicide. There are still times when I can't deal with emotions. I feel badly let down by the doctor. Even if he had just said "don't worry. It'll get better" I feel I would have made progress sooner. By the way, my sister is also depressed, and the doctor has prescribed her all sorts of medication and counselling!
Bob, Scotland

When suicide is the biggest single cause of death between young men aged 25-34, how can anyone dispute that encouraging boys to talk about their difficulties from an early age is a very positive move? It saddens me that some people mock counselling and seeking help as a betrayal of a 'stiff upper lip' mentality, which isn't particularly successful judging by the situation I describe.
Rebecca Loader, UK

When people grow up they will have far greater problems than not opening up. The number of people claiming depression just goes to show how immature we are becoming.
Cliff Hulcoop, England

To really get them to talk about what concerns them you need to build up a lot of trust Chris C, England

There has been a culture of "real men don't show their feelings" for longer than the 47 years I've been alive. Things like the 'Beano' comic where the "real boys" are the ones who do violence etc. whereas the ones who study, listen to classical music, read etc. are 'softies' and fit only to be picked on by the "real boys". And then on the other hand there are the people who don't want to allow boys (or girls for that matter) to get dirty, have a bit of rough and tumble, etc. It's not surprising that young people don't talk about things to adults, they don't know whether they'd be told off for being 'soft' or for being 'rough'.

People have commented that "boys never stop talking". True, with a lot of them, but what are they talking about? Not, in the main, the things which really concern them, but about trivia. To really get them to talk about what concerns them you need to build up a lot of trust.
Chris C, England

No. Males have had a lot of adapting to do in a very short period of time. Since the sixties, the patriarchal society has been replaced by an egalitarian one and now women are finally seen to be equals. Now the main earner in a house is now often the woman - this was and in some cases still is a great blow to the pride of the one-time bread winner. The male psyche is now coming under increasing scrutiny and criticism. The education system is badly letting down boys as it simply does not cater for them. This failure is so profound; it almost seems to be covert positive discrimination. These are some of the reasons why young men are more prone to depression and suicide, not not talking.
Toby, Spain

Well this won't include my grandson, because once he starts talking, he can't stop. Stand outside our local secondary school and you would wonder where this idea came from that boys don't talk.
Gil Bolton, UK

I was bullied by other children and terribly afraid of the dark as a child. I never thought of telling my parents about either problem. It wasn't a matter of admitting the problems to my parents, I just never dreamt that they would want to know.
Les Woods, UK

There are things that children will never talk to their parents about Tony, Kent

Something in the region of 100 years ago the sight of boys fighting or coming home with a black eye would have been tolerated because this is what boys do and were expected to. It was actually part of growing up. What we now want are girls in trousers. There are things that children will never talk to their parents about. Just leave them to be boys. They will know when they want to talk. Parents just need to be there when they do.
Tony, Kent

Forget the bias and prejudice, we should be encouraging all young people, not to mention adults, to talk more freely about their problems, and appealing for greater tolerance within society of any weakness or undesirable trait.
Andy Millward, UK

Responses to topics like this always amaze me. All those men out there that seem to hate women and blame all their ills and misfortune on them. Get real guys.
Andy, UK

In today's female biased society males who complain are largely ignored. It is no wonder boys and men are far more reluctant to talk about issues affecting them. Have the government ever been sympathetic to separated fathers despite many protests? How often do you see females visiting Gents toilets in pubs and clubs without getting into trouble when as soon as a man enters a ladies loo he gets beaten up by bouncers or sued.
Sam, UK

I think the attitude of some of the so-called adults on this page have totally missed the point. It's not about men vs women, or men not being men, it's about someone doing something positive to help create a support network for bullied kids. I hope some of the contributors are not parents as I would question their immature attitude to what is really a serious problem. I especially deplore Tom Cooper's attitude that it takes more of a man to sort out his own problems. Well Tom, if you are a child who has little support from anyone and is being bullied by a group of idiots, you need someone to help you.
Shaun Barton, UK

We do not like wimps and weaklings Lisa, UK

Andy, UK: You are quite right! We do not like wimps and weaklings!
Lisa, UK

Yet another ill thought out initiative. Again we have a bunch of social workers and do-gooders who cannot accept that there is a difference between boys and girls, and want them all to be little clones of themselves. Most men over 50 will know that all that comes from treating boys as "namby-pambies" is that they become so. Young men and boys did not need to repress their feelings until initiatives against expressive behaviour in schools and on the street. If they felt angry they cleared it up with a fight or getting into danger or actually living life.
Barry P, England

A lot of men are writing that males are seen as weak and vulnerable if they talk about how they feel. We need to educate all males that it's not a sign of weakness and is not a bad thing so that those who do talk are not bullied or teased about it. It's no good getting people to open up if it fuels the problems behind why they need to open up. And it's not just men who have trouble talking, a lot of girls do too. Everyone should be treated as individuals and not labelled.
JJ, UK

Reading the comments many people seem to think in terms of black & white. It's either iron will and no comment or vomit your feelings. Males are not like that, nor should they be warped to fit that mould. Certainly, there should be more emphasis on "it takes a brave man to admit he's wrong" or "it's a strong man to ask for help when needed". Don't make the needle go from one end of the scale to the other.
Jason,UK

Sure, it takes a big man to admit he has a problem, but it takes a bigger man to sort the problem out by himself without crying about it to someone else.
Tom Cooper, UK

Bottling feelings can lead to misplaced aggression Tracey, England

My work does a 'Mentoring' scheme with local schools and colleges and they are crying out for men to do the mentoring. The mentors are totally non-judgemental and are there for anything from maths problems to relationship and home problems. We give two hours per month per person to make a difference to these people's lives. The boys are much harder to get talking but once they do it can be quite satisfying to be able to help. If every school/college could have similar I am sure that it would be beneficial. Bottling feelings can lead to misplaced aggression which cannot always be worked off through exercise.
Tracey, England

Well, I don't know what women most of the men here know. But myself and my boyfriend are very close, we talk and communicate well and yes, he had trouble opening up as a child. But so did I. Girls are not the open beings who are willing to splurge their troubles to anyone either. It's sexist. Help should be evenly open for everyone.
Donna, UK

What typical touchy-feely, PC claptrap! The last thing we need is to make people even more emotionally incontinent and self obsessed, whinging neurotically about petty problems and requiring counselling for the slightest thing. We should be encouraging dignity and the stiff upper lip.
Matt, Wales

So if us guys who see the problem as being down to women's attitudes towards us, why are there so many of us coming forward and identifying it as the cause?
Russ, Wales

I hope this initiative works but it will need more than this to address an issue in which boys and men are expected to put up with pain (whether emotional or physical) as part of being male. This is what society expects and is reflected everywhere. Men hit women in TV drama, women hit men in TV comedy. A man who takes a knife to a woman is evil, when John Bobbit's wife cut off her husband's privates, she became a heroine and he became a laughing stock who 'deserved it'. Violence and suffering shouldn't become acceptable just because the person on the receiving end is male.
Andrew Carter, UK

Men need to look at how they treat each other before they start pointing the finger.
Anna, UK

To all these men who feel women 'expect' them to be uncommunicative and tough, I really think they are behind the times. The only women who go for this type of man are as much to be pitied as the men who act in this way.
Liz Forth, Wales

I'm currently helping my partner with depression that existed undiagnosed since early teens A, UK

Boys should be talking more. I'm currently helping my partner with depression that existed undiagnosed since early teens. I find it sad that he has had so many unhappy years and felt unable to vocalise his problems for such a long time. I don't think of him as weak, and respect him even more now I understand how difficult it has been for him to confront his problems.
A, UK

I blame the girls... they always went for the "strong" boys, the talkative, sensitive ones were classed as "weeds" or wimps and never get the girls!
Andy, UK

Despite some of the views expressed here, this isn't and shouldn't be a 'boys vs. girls' issue. The reasons why boys appear to be unable to talk about their troubles cannot be pinned on women, feminism or single mothers. As much as some people would seem to want to blame women for everything, this is to do with an age old tradition built up over many years in a 'stiff upper lip' society and finger pointing won't help that. I applaud Childine for tackling this one - good luck.
Katherine, UK

It will work to some degree but you still must deal with parental influence, especially the father's, on the boy. A father might tell his son not to be a wimp. A child will take that to heart and is likely to fear the consequences of disappointing his father rather than do what is emotionally healthy.
SBR, UK

The fact is that at present, male teachers (especially in primary education) are hopelessly outnumbered, society values female characteristics over male ones, even school examinations today are neglecting male skills such as knowledge of facts and logical computation in favour of female-biased questions. Society must value men and male qualities if we want young boys to value themselves. Even this Childline project, while well-intentioned, is giving boys the message that they should be behaving like girls. No wonder so many young men have their heads so messed up that they want to kill themselves!
Z, England

It makes a bigger man to admit he has a problem.
Dan, UK

Women responsible for men not expressing themselves... female-dominated society... I really think I've seen it all now. I would write more but I need to carry on trying to increase my salary by 50(FIFTY)% to reach parity with my poor, bullied, male peers.
Catherine O, UK

We live in a society where people especially women worship violent, macho assertive males. Men who are not like this are labelled as wimps and cowards. We get the boys we want and its no use complaining about boys' behaviour that we ourselves have helped create. Boys should be encouraged to seek help and should be encouraged to challenge stereotypes. If not we should be honest about the sort of men we want these boys to grow up into namely emotionally crippled thugs.
Iain, UK

They can look happy and joking on the outside when on the inside they are in turmoil Heather, UK

There should be someone in every school, college and university that is approachable for boys to talk to. Boys hide their feelings, they can look happy and joking on the outside when on the inside they are in turmoil. I hope this campaign is a success.
Heather, UK

It's fairly safe to say the blame for this trend is all down to women's attitudes. Us men are told that if we become all 'touchy-feely' we get called 'wimps'. When the attitude of women changes, males won't feel so intimidated by opening up.
Russ, Wales

Russ from Wales is wrong. Women are forever bemoaning men's inability to open up emotionally. And it has nothing to do with Dave from England's perception of how women are portrayed as superior - we've had millennia of male superiority, with no notable changes in how easy men find it to open up. Stop trying to point the finger of blame as it won't help.
Lucy, UK

Boys feel very unappreciated in this female dominated society we live in. Girls are constantly promoted as superior in every way (mentally, physically and emotionally) when in reality both sexes are very similar. Until this one sided dominance is addressed Boys will always feel they should keep quiet.
Dave, England

Talking about your 'feelings' has probably never been more guaranteed to get you marked as a loser - and that's by the women. This just looks like another, unconscious I hope, step towards the takeover of parenting by "agencies".
Steve, UK

It is worrying that Childline shows such a lack of understanding of boys. Boys are only too happy to confide their problems, but only to close friends. Those that won't talk to anyone have problems that are nothing to do with gender. Everyone knows girls that are exactly the same. The ability to cope with stress without outward sign of it is a great strength. It is only in this age of counsellors, and other self-seeking unqualified busybodies, that it should be seen as a weakness.
Andrew, UK

Us males generally do not like to talk about how we feel. It is not about being perceived as weak, it's how our minds are. Boys should not be made to behave like females, emoting about the slightest thing. It is male nature to try and 'handle' our problems, only speaking out when it is deemed necessary.
Chris Hollett, UK

Men will always want to solve their problems by themselves Phillip Holley, UK, London

Boys and men will never be keen to ask for help. It's simply not in our nature. After all, men would rather look at 100 maps than ask a single person for directions when they're lost. Rather than trying to get them to 'open up' like females do, you need to provide relevant information in a form that they can find and use it by themselves. Men will always want to solve their problems by themselves, just make them aware of where the information is and they'll sort it out themselves.
Phillip Holley, UK, London

Getting potential suicide victims to talk before they take things too far is an admirable objective. Encouraging boys to talk about their feelings in general might be a good idea on Planet Councillor, but here on Earth it will guarantee you are given a jolly good hiding. The simple fact that exposing your own weakness gives ammunition to your enemies takes precedence over the comfort any sympathy might offer. Ensuring the Help Line can be contacted in secrecy should be the preferred option as opposed to the suggested attempt to change thousands of years of evolved male behaviour.
Tim H,UK

Whilst the Childline initiative is commendable it doesn't get to the root of the problem. With so many single mothers, boys are growing up without a father figure, a male role model who they can trust and talk to. Without this influence is it any wonder boys are growing up to be immature and emotionally inhibited.
Peter, UK

I don't agree that single Mothers prevent normal development in boys - if behaviour is learned by example, it should improve boys talking skills as they have no 'strong silent father' role model to copy. Women tend to talk more than men so an example of open communication is set by them. Besides, many single Fathers (not all) chose not to spend time with their children, so its not just the Mothers 'fault' children don't have a 'male example'.
Kelly, UK

My son is 14, and I have found that although he is rugby mad, likes girls, skateboarding and video games it is not too hard to get him to open up about any problem. The main thing is to listen sympathetically, to make teenagers feel valued and not a nuisance, and to let them understand that they will be treated as if they are entitled to an opinion. If you can do that, the 'wimp' label does not arise.
John, UK

Do girls/women go for men who talk about their problems? Err no. They go for the "bad boys" who don't discuss such things. When that changes, so will boys/young men's attitude.
John Stevenson, UK

If schools did not bury their heads in the sand then this type of help would not be required Shaun B, UK

If schools did not bury their heads in the sand then this type of help would not be required. Since I can remember when kids are bullied at school the teachers don't do anything. Not that they can do anything if they wanted to as legislation ensures the perpetrators are protected from any type of punishment. As usual the nice kids get no protection.
Shaun B, UK

So John Stephenson thinks that women are attracted to "bad boys". So how does he explain my encouraging my fianc� to express his feelings, something he can find difficult. Most of my female friends want someone who they can share a meaningful relationship with. If a man can't discuss his feelings, then I believe this is impossible.
Jackie, UK

To Jackie UK - surely you are confirming John Stephenson's theory, as you were obviously attracted enough to a 'bad boy' to be marrying him! My husband is just as frustratingly quiet about his feelings. Maybe it's the challenge we like!
Liz, UK

I think this is a great idea but whether boys will have the courage to ask for i help i don't know. A lot of boys keep their feelings locked up inside and eventually it gets too much for them.
Sarah Phillips, West Midlands

IS there still a culture demanding that Real Men = silent, that chatty = weak. Not in any of the boys/men that I know. Shutting them up would be a gargantuan task - not that I want to. Although I have many friends with boys of all ages, admittedly my own sons are only seven and five but I see no reason to anticipate the worst if their behaviour is "monitored" daily and any changes picked up on immediately before any problems swell out of proportion. Talk is what makes the world go round.
CCC, England

If parents take the time to not only listen properly to their children but also to read the signals that they give out then maybe we can help encourage them to talk about their problems or worries. The attitude that boys mustn't cry or show emotions should also be quashed as it gives all the wrong messages. Parents really must take some of the blame - no matter how busy you are - spend some time talking to your children - sons and daughters alike - and then maybe they won't feel obliged to hide their problems. Before any of you jump down my throat I am a parent of two young boys who both know that they can come and talk to me if they are at all worried - but I too make the effort to read the signs.
SH, UK

If just one boy is saved from unhappiness or suicide, this campaign will be worth it Msmo, London

I have two sons and divorced when they were nine and ten respectively. The younger son developed a nervous tic and he was referred to a wonderful clinical psychologist who took him for walks, chatted and listened. After six months my son told me that he didn't need to see him any more. Today I have a well-adjusted 34 four year old. My elder son became moody, played truant and refused to discuss his problems despite many attempts. He turned to drugs and only managed to put his life in order in his late 20s. Today he too is a responsible member of society. If just one boy is saved from unhappiness or suicide, this campaign will be worth it.
Msmo, London

I think boys should be encouraged to speak out more but people in positions to help should be encouraged to see that boys need to talk as well. My son is in his last year at secondary school and has had problems right the way through school. I am lucky that he will talk to me about it and I have had to go into school about it on a couple of occasions. The only time either of us felt it was taken seriously was when the teacher we spoke to admitted that he went through similar experiences at school.

My son's year head was not very sympathetic and even now gives the impression that my son is a wimp or a trouble maker for not standing up for himself. On the one occasion that he did stand up for himself, I got a call from the school to say that he had been fighting! I think this is a good start but it shouldn't be left to Childline alone, there needs to be more backing in schools as well.
CJ,UK

I was totally miserable all through school. I got bullied from start to finish, and ignored it for the most part. The one time I fought back and floored said bully with a single punch, I got a week of detention. So my plan was to keep quiet, keep my head down, don't rattle anybody's cage, and get through it. When I left school I made a promise to myself that I was never going to be a victim again. I think we all owe ourselves that much. Needless to say I can't wait for the school reunion!
Dave, UK

The technology must be out there for a separate number to connect through to the main switchboard. The new number would have a 'cooler' name than Childline. Bullying is at its worst in schools at the time of puberty and young male youths are not going to be keen to call 'Childline' - a new name directed at boys is what is needed.
Alistair, UK

There is such a culture of "real men don't talk about their feelings" Charlotte Saunders, UK

I don't know if it will work, but I certainly hope it does. There is such a culture of "real men don't talk about their feelings" which can be very hard to deal with as a wife/girlfriend and mother. Perhaps if boys are helped to understand it's okay to talk about their feelings, they will grow into men who can and teach it to their own sons.
Charlotte Saunders, UK

Charlotte, don't women give out mixed messages when, after men start to explain their feelings and weakness, they are told not to be a wimp?
Simon, England

Isn't this just a job creation scheme for even more "counsellors"? Surely if people want to talk about their problems, they will. It's a shame that Childline can't think of anything more sensible to spend their funds on.
Helen, England

Helen, England has totally missed the point. Boys are being trained to be 'tough' and 'macho' in the same way that girls are told to be obedient and sweet. Saying 'people will talk if they want to' ignores this social programming. What better thing has Childline got to spend its money on than helping children, be they boys or girls?
Katherine, UK

I am 24. I have just started getting help though my doctors for problems I left unchecked during my childhood. I should of got help but thought I could work though them myself, I was wrong. The problem is if others find out you are getting help, teasing/bullying about it starts, I saw it when I was at school and that was one of the factors that stopped me from getting help. My advice to any children that think they have a problem, talk to someone about it; it may turn into something bigger. Don't end up like me cold and unfeeling due to the thing that happened in childhood.
D, UK

In my experience, pre-school boys talk so much that they get ignored and are encouraged to keep quiet. Is this not the root of the problem?
Al, UK