According to a new study, the cost of raising a child is so high that it is pricier than buying a house.
Research from Liverpool Victoria Friendly Society indicates that it costs parents �140,398 to feed, clothe and school their children from birth until the age of 21.
The average cost of buying a home in the Uk is �137,800, according to the most recent Halifax house price survey.
Malcolm Berryman, Liverpool Victoria's group chief executive, said "Everyone knows that raising children can be expensive but few will have realised that bringing up three children could cost nearly half a million pounds."
How much do you spend on your child? Is it more expensive than you expected it to be? What do you splash out on most?
The following comments reflect the balance of views we have received:
This debate is now closed. Read your comments below.
Your reaction:
It does make you wonder how our parents managed, doesn't it? The only reason that childrearing is so expensive is because of the gimme-gimme mentality that pervades our society. Parents want it all, and they teach their children to want it all.
G. Milgi, UK
 |  Looking after their child gives them a new meaning to their lives  |
A child can be a good motivator for parents to work hard and think rationally because they see her/him as their responsibility and future. Looking after their child gives them a new meaning to their lives and to work hard.
Garg, London, England Instead of spending �20 on that pair of designer shoes for your child, spend �10 on a pair and put the other �10 in a savings account for them for when they leave home.
Simon, England
It's not buying things which cost so much! It's the loss of income, loss of promotion prospects because you have to leave when they are sick, the enormous extra cost of having to take holidays in the school holidays and entrance fees to things like zoos. School uniforms from �40, school trips, swimming lessons. If you want to help good parents, make swimming lessons free!
A. Legge, UK
I find it hard to understand why people think about money with children. I am a father of a 17 month toddler who when I come home makes a bad day turn very good quickly. I agree with some of the e-mails that say you can't put price on the joy that he brings. My wife and I do struggle even though I work but have never regretted having Philip.
David Welham, UK
| The best defences against bullying and ridicule are confidence and self-esteem |
It seems that some parents here worry that their child will be bullied if they don't have "the latest gear", but they needn't. Bullying occurs because the bully has a problem, not because there's anything wrong with the child (or adult) on the receiving end. Bullies can target a person for being fat, thin, rich ("posh") or poor - lavishing a child with material possessions as a means of defence against bullying is only going to make the child feel horribly inadequate when it inevitably doesn't work. The best defences against bullying and ridicule are confidence and self-esteem, which you can only nurture in a child, not buy for it.
Tracey A, UK Blimey - never realised it could be so expensive! Makes me glad that my partner and I have decided not to have any, now all we need to do is to decide what to spend the money on instead!
Steve Hodgson, UK
To those having a pop at David, it could easily be argued that the money he himself has paid in taxes would cover the costs that you are mentioning. If like me he's in his twenties then he is unlikely to get much in terms of pension or health care from the taxes paid by today's children anyway.
Joe, UK
| I doubt if many real parents actually know, or care what the cost is |
What has money got to do with it? If all people worry about is the cost we can look forwards to a world without children. I doubt if many real parents actually know, or care what the cost is. For my part I am happy that my son has grown up to be an honest, upright and hardworking citizen that I can be proud of. I have done some research and I can prove that my cat costs more to run than my gas fire. SO what and who cares!
Barry P, England Our daughter is a wonderful gift for my wife and I. Cost should never be a factor, especially when you remember they are not an option, they are critical to a sustainable nation.
Jonathan Murray, UK
You can reduce some of the costs by going to NCT sales, borrowing, using seconds etc. Make use of toy and clothes libraries or start your own. Buy bigger so it will last a little longer. Buy the best you can (not necessarily the most expensive) so it will last. Throw out the TV so the children are less inundated with ads.
Richard, UK
Am I seeing right? People are actually complaining about the cost of caring for their own children? Despicable. If you want the joy, you must also accept the responsibility. Part of good parenting is teaching children to be responsible so that they might grow up to be productive adults, fully able to care for themselves, and possibly their parents as well. All of my parents children have surpassed them financially and we are all in a position to contribute to taking care of them financially if they need it.
Sherry, Zanesville, OH USA
What the report fails to address is how much children can continue to cost PAST the age of 21. Ours have cost far more than that once they supposedly left home - help with buying cars that was never repaid, help with setting up a business that flopped, help with buying things for their own children, weddings, unexpected house repairs, and they STILL keep coming back for more. Not that I'm complaining - what's the money for anyway?
Brian, UK
I think it could actually be worth having children at any cost. In the final five years of her life that my great-grandmother spent in a residential home, before dying aged 102, receiving a postcard from one of us was an absolutely huge event to her. The sort of loneliness one can avoid in one's old age by having children is priceless.
Graeme Phillips, Germany, normally UK
For �140,000 I will bring up your children! I also guarantee they will NOT be obese, spoilt, unhealthy, lazy, clueless, fashion victims or materialistic. The tens of thousands left over can go to help people in real need. Now you can't say fairer than that!
Sean, UK
| Many people here seem to think that they should get the benefits and pleasures of having kids, but without the costs |
Many people here seem to think that they should get the benefits and pleasures of having kids, but without the costs. It's all very well to say that the population should pay as everyone benefits. However, we don't have children as a favour to the state. We do so because we WANT a child, to fulfil our own desire. The state already contributes to the costs - so is it so unreasonable for parents to pay a share too?
Vicky, UK The cost of raising children is made even more expensive by the targeted advertising campaigns that encourage our media-savvi kids to push for luxury goods and branded products
Phil, UK
I think it is more - the cost of Day care, then medical costs, not to mention the required food, clothing, and shelter, then comes the biggest expense of all - university - $200,000 frankly seems a little low to me.
Rachel, USA (ex UK)
Yes, bringing up our 2.5 year old son is already expensive, not only financially, but in terms of social time, time spent with each other, and most missed of all, just time sitting doing nothing - because in the days before a baby - we could! But I don't regret a penny of it, having my son is the best thing I have ever done and I'd pay twice as much, just for the privilege of him coming up and cuddling me and saying 'I love you Mummy'. You can't put a value on that.
Kate Lovegrove, UK
I think it costs a lot more than �140,000. Just the other day the nanny said my baby daughter spilled some of her roast venison on her new Prada dress and we had to send out for a new one. Cost a shedload including all the taxi fares.
David, UK
To a certain extent it is as expensive as YOU want it to be. Strange how it seems the poorer the family the more intent they are on buying the expensive brand name items, whether it is clothes, food or household goods. The amount of kids I see on our local council estates who just where Nike, Adidas, Tommy Hilfiger etc. Buy those yourself WHEN you can afford it. In the meantime there are no-brand clothes just as good, own brand food just the same. It's all about vanity and maturity. The less mature and more vain you are the more money you waste. P.S. I didn't think you good even buy a flat for �140k.
Graeme, England
I know it is expensive, but we are just about to start trying for a family and for us, it will be worth it. I work hard, so does my husband. We got married to have a family, it's something both of us have always wanted...regardless of cost. But coming from a big family, there are lots of things we can borrow from them.
Helen Kreissl, UK
| I think the research is probably full of assumptions that don't affect half the population |
Rubbish! I think the research is probably full of assumptions that don't affect half the population, private education, foreign holidays and designer goods for five year olds too small to know the difference between George and Georgio Armani! Also the cost of second and third children has to be less than the first, some of the start up costs aren't paid twice - the nursery has already been decorated the pram and cot probably still work, and some of the clothes can be reused. As it's been carried out by an organisation that is trying to encourage people to save, you have to take these top end numbers with a large pinch of salt!
Al, UK People do spend too much on their children. Kids are really spoilt these days. Especially as they grow up. Why do more and more parents buy cars and pay university fees for their offspring anyway? Let them learn the hard way. How else will they learn how to pay their own way?
Nazia Chopdat, Leeds
Yes, it is expensive but it is worth it. Clothes and shoes are the annoyance because they grow out of them before they wear out (the nose dive on the playground excluded!). Most of the people who complain about the expense are those that buy designer items or leather jackets (so the kids can look like Dad). Why? They cost the earth and the children can only wear them for a few months before they go too small. And a lot of those are on 'benefits' and it's the taxpayer that's paying for it all.
Jason, UK
Cost a lot to bring up a child. Well it was worth every penny, and I would do it again whatever it cost.
Sue, England
I find children's clothes shockingly expensive. They can cost as much as adult clothes but are supposed to be VAT exempt - less cloth is used too. Also, I would have thought that the cloth would be cheaper because the quality could be forsaken - children do not have as much time to wear clothes out as adults - they grow out of them too fast. Above this, I have recently been pricing up push chairs cots etc (I have an unexpected bundle of joy on they way) - absolutely ridiculous prices. I have also noted a lack of cut-price internet sites for clothes and equipment surely a second-hand market would be massive but it is conspicuous by its absence.
Toby, Spain
| The short answer is too much but also not as much as I would like |
The short answer is too much but also not as much as I would like. While forking out for expensive lifestyle items - fashion clothes and electrical goods - I find that many of the essentials such as University expenses are beyond our resources. I speak as the parent of two teenagers, one at university and one at college.
John M, LyneMeads, UK Mr Berryman is correct, it costs far too much bringing up children, all you people out there stop it immediately. What a useless piece of research, except of course as another means of convincing the gullible to take out insurance, etc.
Gerry, Scotland
I spend a lot of money, but I also spend a lot of time - which as it happens is free.
JP, UK
What's the problem with this, having children is a free choice. Parents should bear the cost for their decisions. I'm sick of all this bleating, tax payers like me who do not have children subsidise you parents through are tax's far too much already, stop moaning and live with the consequences of your actions.
David, UK
Don't forget David - it is those people producing children that are helping to secure your future in your dotage - regardless of how much money you may pour into life insurance. It is a shame that you are obviously so bitter about not having had children, that you strive to bite the hand that will, in the end, feed you.
SH, UK
David, UK: There is no problem with this. Most people with children do not add up each little expense and then moan about it. We accept it will cost money to bring up our children.
Annie, UK
To David - It will be those children's taxes that pay for your old age.
Gareth Wynn, UK
To David, UK: When you're in your dotage, my children will be working to pay for your pension, hospital treatment etc, so please don't imagine you're at the wrong end of a one-way street as a childless taxpayer.
Neil, England
I don't know where these people buy their houses but where I live raising a child is still cheaper than buying a house!
Jenna Phillips, Surrey, England.
Get a Cat instead - it only costs �5000!
Dave, Scotland
| My children are very happy and carefree without having to succumb to the latest craze or fad |
I would not agree! We are a spend spend spend country and believe spending brings happiness. I have found through raising three young children of 5,3,1, that cost can be minimal. They are most happy with their own parents, with their imaginations and each other. My children are very happy and carefree without having to succumb to the latest craze or fad. Where children are concerned, money does not buy happiness. Love and being there and giving time and attention are what it takes. We are a godless society where money rules, hence the results of the survey. Question - how the heck did previous generations raise great broods of (happy) children without money? Budgeting tips - clothes passed down, a love of the great outdoors, trees, climbing etc, painting pictures, charity shops etc
Susan Falkiner, UK
I agree with Susan Falkiner. It's no longer keeping up with the Jones's but wanting to be the Jones's that results in escalating costs. Does a child under five really need Dolce and Gabbana....come on!
Susan
Susan Falkiner has summed up life beautifully. She really has discovered the meaning of life. I have brought up three children all of whom have been through universities. I adopted her principles and all of my children still speak to me!
Miriam Martin, England
To Susan Falkiner. Very laudable but try sending your kids to school and to social events in charity shop clothes and watch their lives degenerate into a living hell of bullying and ridicule. You are in denial if you assume that your children are different and don't desperately want the latest gear and accessories.
Andy, UK
Babies do not need expensive designer clothes, prams and other equipment. A group of us had a pool of second hand maternity wear, baby clothes, prams, cots etc. They were passed around and handed on as required. To Andy UK it would have been a great concern to me if I had felt that my children were not robust enough to withstand bullying and ridicule. Whenever they couldn't have something and complained that life was not fair I told them in no uncertain terms that life is not fair and the sooner they realised that the better.
Lesley, UK
I have a five month old baby and the thing that scares me most is the cost of childcare when my wife goes back to work in two months time. In the area of London were I live nurseries charge in excess of �12,000 a year for one child with a 10% discount for a second. This not only puts the costs of a baby well above the �46,000 average for the first five years but also means we can't afford another child.
Daniel Sedman, UK
The data doesn't surprise me- with the ever increasing tax burden most families are now really having to start budgeting as proportionately less salary ends up in your pocket- something we didn't have to do a few years ago.
A Martin, England, UK
My budgeting tip is to not have children unless you can afford them in the first place. People who have more than one or two children and bring them up on the breadline are just selfish and irresponsible.
Wayne, UK
Complete rubbish! Who did they survey, Victoria Beckham?
Steve Burley, UK
| Most of my son's clothes, toys and equipment are second hand |
This survey shows the struggle of a family adjusting to new parenthood. I have a ten month old son, and another due in May, and the biggest unavoidable expense is childcare (and I earn well enough for it to make sense to work three days a week). Most of my son's clothes, toys and equipment are second hand, and I breastfeed and have washable nappies. We couldn't really do it more cheaply, yet this stage is a big adjustment for a new family, and exactly the time when we would appreciate more help from the tax system. The child benefit is better than nothing, but is dwarfed by the cost of childcare. Given that I am being productive (in the economic sense too) and paying income tax, it seems iniquitous to have to pay for childcare out of my taxed income. For those who stay at home, it seems only fair they should be able to transfer their tax allowance to their partner or spouse. Neither change is complicated for government nor to understand. It would take many childminders! Out of the black market economy as well. Miles of red tape and means-tested tax credits are more trouble than they are worth - you need an accountant just to work out what you are entitled to.
Kate F, UK
At a total cost of �80 per day for childcare for my two children (4 years and 6 months) I pay nearly three times as much to care for the children as I do for my mortgage. That doesn't take into account clothes, nappies, food, toys and trips out. Tips for other parents, get the kids interested in gardening then not only can you join the RHS or NT and have cheap days out, but they can grow their own food!
Fiona, UK
This is absolute and complete rubbish, it doesn't cost anywhere near this amount to bring up children. My wife and I have a 2 year old daughter and according to the research we should have spend over 18,000 pounds on her already and we haven't spent anywhere near this amount, it would cost this if you have a nanny or send them to private nursery and private schools and shop at Harrods for everything but most people don't and it doesn't cost anything like this amount. This is just another headline grabbing nonsense survey.
Peter, UK
You should have written the headline the other way - "Good news! Buying a house now cheaper than bringing up a child".
Richard Toye, UK
Everything is a choice in life. Children or no financial burdens? Whatever you chose, it's the case of 'you've made your bed, now lie in it' I'm afraid, no-one is forced to have children, and just because it proves more expensive and eats up more finances than planned, I don't see why the government should be expected to bail people out. They are adult and responsible enough to bring children into the world, so they should also be accountable for their own personal decisions. As a childless, high tax payer, I certainly do not want all my hard earned cash going to people who simply can't stop breeding!
Shelly, Switzerland
| Sure kids are costly but the rewards are priceless |
Sure kids are costly (although the figures don't reflect our spending on our 4 year old), but the rewards are priceless. Having my son come tripping into our bedroom in the morning, full of smiles and desperate to play with mum and dad.... I wouldn't swap it for the world, yet alone a house! And to all of the correspondents with new kids or kids on the way, I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy my son.
Paul Crawte, Basingstoke, England I'd like to echo Paul Crawte's comments. The rewards of watching them grow and develop are priceless. No-one has children for economic reasons. Our two-and-a-half year old gem this morning was singing "I'm a bouncy castle and you're a dirty rascal!". Put a value on the laughter that generated!
Lisa (working mother of one, with another on the way!)UK
In Belgium there are state and private cr�ches. The State ones charge a fee that is in part based on parents' income. The little ones can then attend school just as soon as they are toilet trained which cuts down on childcare costs considerably. You get what you pay for: direct taxation is low in the UK compared to many other European countries. In Belgium we pay higher tax and social security contributions but we get a good service in exchange and a National Health service that works!
L. Guthrie, Belgium
I have a two year old and already my childcare bill for the first two years has been in excess of �15k and that is for only 3 days a week. I also agree with an earlier comment that the new tax credits are completely laughable as our combined wage is nowhere near the �58K threshold for this and we still only get the standard �63 month. I would like to see them feed and clothe a small child for that amount, also we keep being told that the countries birth rate is too low and we should start having more children. The truth is we cannot afford anymore children, and yes that is clothing him in second hand clothes etc, it just cannot be done.
Juliette, UK
The figures seem high, but at roughly �500 a month, that's about what we spend on part time child care. (If this is an average cost some people are spending a bigger sum). You don't grudge the cost of a child though, it's an investment in the future.
J Curran, Scotland
| I can only see that I've gained on all fronts. |
When my child was born I noticed that my bank balance at the end of the month was far healthier than before. I spent far more on going out, eating in restaurants, buying useless stuff etc. All the things that our consumer society try to convince us will make us happy. My daughter is now three - I wonder how much money I've saved by having a child. I'm certainly a happier person to boot. I can only see that I've gained on all fronts. Of course, I reserve the right to withdraw this sentimentality once she turns into a dreadful teenager...
James, Scotland We have one son of 4, and I would heartily agree that I would not swap him for the world. I work full time and, yes, we pay something like �8,000 for his childcare. However, while we chose to have our son, I wonder where those people who complain about children think the next generation of doctors, nurses, policemen, plumbers, electricians, police officers, radiographers....are going to come from?
Suzanne, England
Will we be able to get mortgages to start a family with?
Andy, UK
I think the sad reality is that this survey is teetering on the edge of accurate. I'm 22 in a stable relationship, and both myself and my girlfriend would love a child (and I think this would be a great age to become parents), but I don't think it's financially viable in this societal climate. It's all well and good advising to get your kids interested in horticulture and take them for walks up the Matterhorn - but I had an underprivileged single parent upbringing, and I want my children to have the opposite.
Ryan W, UK
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