Have a look at all the exciting things your friendly taxman has sent you.
details of how to pay All of which will make you begin to realise that this is one prize that you didn't really want to win.
Click on the links for the other guides in this series
Unfortunately, you can't send it back and ask to be left off the mailing list in the future. And therein is the first tip, don't ignore the package.
Even if you know you have no tax to pay, you have to complete and send back the tax return.
Why me?
About half the people who get tax returns do so because they are self-employed.
Of the others, many have income that hasn't been taxed already, such as freelance earnings, rental income or interest that has been paid gross (i.e. without tax deducted).
Company directors automatically get a return, as do those with "complex tax affairs".
Just having income sufficient to take you into the 40% income tax bracket won't in itself get you a return, but add in a few dividends or amounts of bank interest and you'll qualify.
Many pensioners get returns - sadly the system doesn't cope easily with people who have a couple of pensions and various bits of investment income.
And finally, some will get returns for no particular reason other than they are the lucky ones to get one at random as a few people seem to do.
I didn't get one
This doesn't automatically mean you shouldn't have got one.
There is a deadline that the 23m taxpayers who don't get a tax return have to bear in mind - 5 October.
That's the date, six months after the tax year ends, by which you must tell the Inland Revenue if you have a tax liability for a tax year that they don't know about.
So did you have some rental income, or interest income that didn't have tax deducted from it - perhaps from a Jersey account?
Are you a higher rate taxpayer with some dividend or interest income? Freelance earnings?
In all these cases you should be telling the IR by 5 October that you have a potential extra donation for their coffers.
You don't have to tell them about normal salary, PAYE does that for you.
Also, if you got a tax return, that's your mechanism for owning up. But, otherwise, you should drop them a line.
If you don't, in extreme cases the fine involved could reach your total tax bill for the year!