In Britain we recycle only 12% of rubbish compared with 64% in Austria and the cost of disposing of rubbish is �22 million a year. So who's got the answer?

Peter Gibson

This is environmental campaigner Peter Gibson. He says that people don't think about the consequences of their actions when they dump litter.

He recommends putting litter in a bin, which is not exactly rocket science.

He also says that rocket science might also be a cause of pollution.

But it's not just the foul stench and eyesore nature of rubbish, modern waste is also increasingly toxic and carcinogenic. We are quite literally being sick on our own doorsteps.

Inside every house is a chocolate box selection of dangerous domestic waste. Robin, for example, owns a novelty electric rodent.

Surely a battery operated musical boxing hamster couldn't create pollution and waste? We asked a scientist.

He said that the toxic nickel and cadmium in the batteries could get into the groundwater if the lovable toy was thrown away.

Not that Robin ever would. He loves that hamster.

An everyday sofa is also full of danger as it may contain phthalates, chemicals used to soften plastic.

There is some evidence to suggest that they could cause liver and kidney damage, and might even turn lads into lasses.

They are also used in nail varnish, PVC and lipstick, so people's addiction to eating, furniture and drag-based sadomasochistic sex games is damaging ourselves and our environment.

What is the solution?

Solution 1: Robot Wars

The downside

Robot Wars is a way of utilising your junk and maybe winning a prize.

The downside is that you will have to meet Craig Charles.

Robin asked a scientist if he'd help him build the best robot ever. He said no.

Solution 2: The War Years

Decrease food waste by pretending it's World War Two.

Try using some of Grandma's wartime recipes. They include apple cores, soot and something she got from a GI for giving him a bit of a kiss.

It's disgusting, but could be given to old people. If you do meals on wheels, they'll enjoy its nostalgia

Solution 3: Cataloguing

Why not use your waste as a diary of your life? Simply paste it into a diary or scrapbook.

Once you're bored with your own waste, why not start looking at other peoples. It can help you get to know your neighbours better and things in celebrities bins can make you money such as bank statements and sketches of Salisbury Cathedral by Rageh Omaar.

Less money can be made from old toilet rolls, yoghurt pots and odour-eater insoles - unless they are signed.

Solution 4: Charles Saatchi

If Charles Saatchi bought all the lay-bys in the country, the rubbish strewn across them would then become contemporary art with a satirical message about consumer society.

Who knows, maybe a car park in Stanmore could win the Turner Prize?

Solution 5: A Goat

Buy a goat - goats are famous for eating anything. If you haven't got the room for a goat then invest in a multi-pack of hamsters.

You'll need about 16.5 hamsters to make up for the lack of one goat.

So there you go. The answer is staring us in our greedy consumer faces. If we all cut down on lipstick, batteries and eating the problems of excessive waste would be a thing of the past.