Sadly the A-Team, the Equaliser and John Noakes are merely fictions. So who can help?

First we need to find someone with a problem. This is Nic Ferriday. Nic's problem is - light pollution.

So what is light pollution?

Well, Nic feels that too much artificial light in our towns at night means that we can't see the stars, and that thousands of tonnes of oil are squandered to produce this unnecessary light.

But how can Nic get the attention of MP's, and therefore the country? The answer is....lobbying!

We decided to help - so let's look at some of the methods of lobbying.

Method 1: The Lobbying Firm

We met George Pitcher, who is a professional lobbyist. Only he doesn't call it that.

He calls it "public affairs and issues management", so he sounds professional enough for us. Organisations employ him to act as an advocate to get their voices heard and affect change.

Unless you have got, as an advocate, an answer to all those vested interest groups that you're going to be taking on out there, you'll get slayed George Pitcher

Despite organising a bake sale and a sponsored swim, Nic doesn't quite have the kind of money needed to get professional lobbyists.

He's stuck with us.

Method 2: The Telephone

You can call your MP. We tried for ages. But for some reason these lazy MP's don't seem to want to answer every call from everyone with a problem.

Shame. On to the next approach.

Method 3: The Letter

Could be difficult if the last letter you wrote started "Dear Jim, please could you fix it for me...".

But a bonus is that you could become pen pals with some MPs and eventually forge a friendship and go on holiday together.

But we're impatient and need answers quickly.

Method 4: The Meeting

You don't have to camp outside his house - you can meet your MP at his surgery.

It's like a normal surgery but without the old copies of Readers Digest or the fear of having to take your trousers off... probably.

We met Stephen Pound, the MP for Ealing North, Nic's constituency.

He said that if he can do something about an issue raised by one of his constituents he would be happy to advise them on how to proceed.

He also said that if you were just hearing voices in your head then he probably wasn't the person to help.

So that's how you get to meet one MP. But how can you meet lots of them?

They all live in a big house in Westminster. A bit like "Big Brother", but with loads of heavily subsidised restaurants that do a really nice roquette and pistachio nut oil drizzled salad for 47 pence.

A great place to try...

Method 5: The Demo

Unfortunately, with just our reporter Robin Ince in the demo, it looked a little under-supported and frankly, pathetic.

Robin did try projecting a message onto the side of the Houses of Parliament but it did seem to go against the fundamental idea behind curbing light pollution.

So that leaves...

Method 6: The Reception

All that was left was to organise a reception for MPs in the House of Commons.

Nic provided some rather stodgy sausage rolls and Robin poured some Wotsits onto a paper plate.

Soon Nic was mingling with all the guests and having a super time.

Shame he forgot that most of the people who came to the reception worked in the House of Commons post room and that the only MP there was Stephen Pound, the one he'd met earlier in the week.

So there you have it. Lobbying in action. We did all we could, but unfortunately the lights still burn bright over Ealing.