Jennie Lindon is a trainer and consultant in child psychology

A BBC One Real Story investigation has revealed poor standards of care in three private nurseries in England, all of which had been approved by the government watchdog, Ofsted.

Staff were secretly filmed shouting at children and manhandling them at a nursery in Stoke-on-Trent, while basic hygiene and safety rules appear to have been broken at that nursery and another in London.

How can parents using private childcare reassure themselves their youngster is being well looked after?

Real Story put some questions to child psychologist Jennie Lindon who has over 30 years of experience working with services for children and their families within early years care and education.

Jennie is aware of the general details of the Nurseries Undercover investigation, but was not involved in making the programme. Her comments focus on parents' decisions about childcare as a whole. They cannot be taken as a judgement about particular nurseries shown on the programme.

Nurseries Undercover: The Real Story Thursday, 12 August 2004 21:00 BST on BBC One

What initial advice do you give to a parent with a child in a nursery who is alarmed by what they see in the Real Story investigation?

The important thing here is not to over-react to this distressing report by assuming most nurseries are unsafe. This is not true. But the programme shows the uncomfortable reality that some nurseries do not ensure good and safe practice in caring for children.

The relationship between a parent and their child's nursery depends on trust. It is a serious abuse of trust if your son or daughter is treated in an uncaring way. It is an abuse of your trust, and just as important, it is an abuse of your child's trust.

Individual staff are responsible for unacceptable behaviour but in any nursery, the manager or other senior staff must also share the responsibility if they have not recognised, or dealt with, bad practice.

So how can I find out if my child's nursery is doing its job properly?

What is your child telling you? By words and by how he or she reacts to staff when you arrive at nursery and when you pick your child up in the evening?

You know your child - what is his or her body language telling you? If your child can tell you in words, then what does he or she say about their day? Do they talk about the staff in a happy way?

What are the staff telling you? Are they having a proper conversation with you? Do they show evidence of liking and knowing your child? Good staff should be able to share with you personal anecdotes of what your child enjoyed doing during the day - not generalities like, "She played well" or "No problems."

You should not have to work hard to get descriptive information about your child's activities; staff with good practice will want to share your child's day with you.

If you have worries, then your first step should be to talk with the member of staff who is responsible for your child. Don't go straight to the manager. If you are not reassured by the conversation, then it would make sense to talk with somebody more senior in the nursery.

If you are concerned, then make an unannounced visit to the nursery. How are you greeted? Are you welcomed? A good nursery will be pleased to see you. It is important not to behave as if every nursery is hiding bad practice behind closed doors - this is not the case. Even a good nursery will feel harassed if a parent keeps appearing and acting as if they expect to find wrong-doing.

What do other parents feel about the nursery? Try to get a good sense of whether they are unhappy or uneasy. If they are content with the nursery, is it based on what happens for their child, or is it more that they are relieved to have any kind of childcare? (As many parents will know, a nursery place can be hard to come by.)

I am concerned about something happening at my child's nursery, but I can't decide how worried I should be. What should I do?

Getting and holding onto quality childcare is a source of stress. The decision to take a child out of a nursery will have repercussions on your work or your studies. So, of course you may be thinking, "Am I over-reacting?"

A good step is to think what would you advise a friend to do, if you listened to somebody saying what you feel now? This perspective can help to ground you in being practical about the emotional and physical safety of your child.

If you remove your child because of serious concerns, then think about the other children. Who else should you tell? What you say to the manager or owner of the nursery will depend on how they reacted to your earlier concerns.

If you decide to take the matter further, be ready to say in a descriptive way what concerned you. The parents' page on the Ofsted website gives guidance about how to lodge a complaint.

Depending on how you first heard about the nursery, consider telling local parents, your local Children's Information Service (CIS) or your local Early Years and Childcare department (exact names vary) and Ofsted.

If you are confused or distressed, Parentline Plus runs a helpline offering general support to parents about any family issue:
Parentline Plus on 0800 - 8002222.

How do I choose a good nursery for my child in the first instance?

Take as much time and care as you can inchoosing the right nursery for your child. If you are uneasy about your current nursery, then consider whether you took enough time over your decision.

You will find some very useful information on two websites in particular: www.daycaretrust.co.uk and www.childcarelink.gov.uk (See the links on the right.)

I recommend both sites to anyone looking for tips and information on how to choose a nursery. the sites have some wise questions to ask yourself that will also be valuable if you are having second thoughts about your current nursery.

All nurseries are registered and inspected by Ofsted. the inspection reports are public documents. You can ask the nursery manager to show you their latest report - or look it up online at www.ofsted.co.uk.

I have not been able to find my child a place at a private nursery that I'm completely happy with. I still have to work - what other options do I have?

The point about private childcare is that you will need enough hours to cover your working hours or to be able to do your studies, plus a bit of time on either side to cover travelling time.

For this, you have three options: 1) A private day nursery, 2) A child-minder 3) A nanny.

A day nursery provides a group setting for your child, all day, five days a week, for almost 52 weeks of the year. Some of them are part of national chains. Their hours vary but are roughly from 0730 BST to 1800 BST. Only workplace nurseries would usually cover longer hours or shift work.

A child-minder takes care of children in his or her family home. They are registered and inspected in the same Ofsted system as nurseries. They provide roughly the same hours of service as nurseries, although some child-minders will cover shift work. The big difference is that as your child will be in a home-setting. Ofsted will determine how many children each child-minder can look after and what ages a childminder may choose, just to look after your child if that is what suits them. But it is more likely that your child will have the company of other children.

Some parents opt for nurseries because they think that their child will otherwise be isolated. But a good child-minder will take a child out and make sure the week is balanced with social and quiet time.

Nannies are not currently inspected. A nanny is someone whom you employ to take care of your child in your home. He or she either lives with you or comes to your house each day. It is up to you to check their references and ensure good practice.

Whichever childcare option you decide is best for your child, it is important that he or she does not go through too many changes of carer. Children need tomake a relationship with their carer and changes make them unhappy. This concern would include a child in a nursery with a high turnover of staff.

I'm fed up with the media making me feel guilty about having to go out to work and let someone else look after my child.

My profession is in child psychology, but as a mother who brought up two children I can understand and sympathise how strong your feelings about childcare can be. No good parent decides to share the care of their child with someone else without taking it very seriously. You need to make a well-informed decision about childcare but listen to your feelings and those of your child as well.

The opinions expressed are those of the author and are not held by the BBC unless specifically stated. The material is for general information only and does not constitute legal advice. You should not rely on this information to make (or refrain from making) any decisions. Ultimately, the decision you make about childcare has to be a well-rounded one and one that you and your family have made yourselves. Real Story: BBC One, Thursday 12 August 2004, 2100 BST and live on the Real Story website.

Further reading:

1) Anna Gillespie Edwards 'Relationships and learning: caring for children from birth to three' 2002

2) Jennie Lindon 'Helping babies and toddlers learn: a guide to good practice with under threes' 2000

Both from the National Children's Bureau on 020 7843 6000 or www.ncb.org.uk