'I'm too old to bring up a child'

Marie Stopes International is calling for women to retain the right to a late abortion, saying those who undergo a termination then have thought hard about the decision.

Rachel, a 42-year-old married woman, told the charity what led to her to decide to have a termination when she found out she was pregnant at 22 weeks.

She had been on the progesterone only mini-pill, so was not having periods.

Rachel, not her real name, said the first thing she noticed, three months earlier, was that she had tender breasts and had a cold.

I've never wanted to have children and have never had any maternal feelings at all Rachel

"I went to my doctor and told him, but he just said they weren't related and that I had sinusitis, which he gave me some medicine for," she said.

Six weeks later she returned, but was told by a different doctor that the type of pill she was on, and the fact she had put on some weight could be making her breasts more tender.

A diet did not work, and Rachel became increasingly worried as her belly hardened.

But she still did not suspect she might be pregnant.

'No support'

"I went to my doctor again and this time she felt my belly and said I was pregnant.

"I completely panicked. I've never wanted to have children and have never had any maternal feelings at all.

"My partner is the same. We discussed it the day I found out and agreed that termination was the only option.

"We worked out that he would be 65 and I would be 58 by the time the child left school.

"I'm really too old to start to bring up a child.

"I know my husband wouldn't have left me if we had to have it, but I know it would be the end of our marriage.

Rachel added: "My doctor wasn't supportive at all.

"She told me I'd find it really difficult to get a termination as I was so far gone.

"It was the secretary at the doctor's surgery who got me the appointment at the centre for that afternoon."

She added: "I think it's really important that the legal limit shouldn't be lowered.

"I didn't find out until I was 22 weeks, through no fault of my own.

"I'm sure nobody takes the decision lightly - and there are so many individual circumstances.

"Everyone's got a good reason and no one should condemn them for making their own choice.

"I would never try to advise a woman who was in my situation; it must be her decision."

E-mail this to a friend

Printable version