"Anne" wishes to remain anonymous

She had heard about eating disorders, but it can be difficult to know what to do when you suspect a loved one is anorexic.

"I spotted something was wrong, but wanted to wait to see if my daughter would come to me. I set a deadline of six weeks.

"Thankfully, she did confide in me and we went to get help early. But it is very hard. It is such a secretive disease."

Anne said initially she did not know what to do to help.

I had to learn to take a step back and to let my daughter take control of her own life Anne

"When your child is ill you think that all you have to do is give them extra love and attention and they will get better.

"But with eating disorders it doesn't work like that.

"I found I was becoming her crutch. I became her super carer. I was by her side 24 hours a day, seven days a week and every meal time. But it didn't help at all."

Anne heard about a workshop run by The Capio Nightingale Hospital in London designed to arm carers with the skills they need to understand and help those with eating disorders.

"It taught me so much.

"I had to learn to take a step back and to let my daughter take control of her own life. To let her make her own mistakes and learn what her own limits are.

Learning how to help

"To start with you hardly dare to leave them alone for a second, but it worked.

"She is learning to cope on her own.

We could only help our daughter because someone had helped us and had taught us how to help her Anne

"Without the workshops, we would not have got there I'm sure. They taught me how to encourage my daughter to want to change for herself.

"They teach you how to talk to your child in a different way to help them explore their choices."

Anne said a big factor was learning to deal with her own guilt about her daughter's eating disorder.

"You blame yourself but you have to put the guilt away," she said.

Anne said she would recommend any parent or carer in similar circumstances seek help to learn the skills that she has.

"Parents are ideally placed. What ever we do is going to have a big impact because we are there all the time where as a therapist is only there for a couple of hours.

"We could only help our daughter because someone had helped us and had taught us how to help her."

Anne is now learning how to counsel other parents and run similar workshops to the one she attended.

More information about the Collaborative Caring Course that Anne attended can be found at The Capio Nightingale Hospital website.