By Jane Elliott BBC News health reporter

Children need help to cope with their grief

Her parents had divorced when she was just two, and her dad had became her main carer.

She felt she had no-one to confide in about his death and five years later she is still struggling to come to terms with it.

"The worst bit is that at home I can't talk about Dad. Mum just gets angry if I do.

Forget

"She says that I'll get over his death and eventually I'll begin to forget him.

"Sometimes it feels like he never existed. I have no-one to share my memories with. I just wish that I had a part of my dad that I could hang on to, to remember him."

I would like someone to talk to occasionally about it 'Emma'

"The last time I saw my dad was in the hospital. He was really sleepy, and I remember telling him that I loved him and him smiling at me with his eyes closed.

"It was my Nan that told me that he had died the day after."

After his death Emma, not her real name, moved in with her mother and had to change schools meaning she saw less of her paternal grandmother, which she says added to her sense of isolation.

"Everyone told me that I was so brave, he would be so proud of me. I don't suppose that they realised how I felt.

"I would like someone to talk to occasionally about it."

Report

A Joseph Rowntree Foundation report has criticised support offered to young people like Emma.

Saying that better help is needed to help them cope with the potential long-term consequences of grief.

The report says that support is "patchy and highly variable in quality and quantity."

But a new service, which has opened this month, in Bury, in Greater Manchester, hopes to help change that by offering a three-pronged support system to aid bereaved children like Emma.

The Macmillan Children's Bereavement Services, provides help for children and young people to talk about a bereavement or a life limiting illness.

Anna Broughton, project manager, explained that up to 20% of children, under 16 have long-term psychological problems following the death of a parent.

The figures are similar for children who lose a sibling, but much lower for those whose grandparents or other family members die.

She says children need expert support to help them grieve, to avoid problems in later life.

"We do have a lot of children who, 12 months or two years after the loss, sometimes start to become very angry and upset.

"There is evidence in one or two children that it can lead to school problems and exclusions.

"With some it can lead to psychological problems, conduct disorders and can impact on relationships and learning potential"

She said their service, which is currently helping 10 children, offers counselling to the children and helps carers support the child as well as offering training to professionals dealing with them.

Help

Younger children can be helped through play, artwork and story telling.

Anna explained that the earlier help is offered the better the long-term prognosis for the child.

The three-year Macmillan funded project will be evaluated by Manchester University to assess demand and whether the service is effective in helping children recover.

Kathy Moore, who helps run a similar service called Seesaw in Oxford, said her experiences had shown children needed to be offered help to grieve.

"It is enabling them to do something for themselves. Kids tend to be the forgotten ones in grief."

She said even simple things like making memory boxes to remember their relative could help them to grieve properly.

"A lot of problems if they have not been worked through can lead to problems."