BBC News | HEALTH | Abuse fears for bereaved children

A significant number of children who lose a parent are abused by the guardian left behind, a survey suggests.

A report by ChildLine counsellor and retired paediatrician Sheila Cross found that 5% of callers to the telephone helpine whose parent had died were now being abused.

The results are based on a 10% sample of 2,619 calls made to the charity by young people who had been bereaved.

And now ChildLine has made an urgent call for more detailed research into the subject.

'Pain and betrayal'

Its chairman, Esther Rantzen, said: "This report shows, for perhaps the first time, that there is a small number of children, for whom the death of a parent or carer means the child is deprived of their 'protector' within the family.

"The sexual abuse that follows causes these already vulnerable children additional pain and betrayal, on a scale too profound for most of us to imagine.

Although it is terribly hard for us to face the fact that bereaved children are being abused, we must, for their sake, try to protect them

Esther Rantzen
"Although it is terribly hard for us to face the fact that bereaved children are being abused, we must, for their sake, try to protect them."

Each year, the charity helps more than 4,000 children who have been bereaved.

The report, called "I can't stop feeling sad," said many young people of all ages believed that their ill treatment was related to the surviving parent's inability to cope with their own distress.

Often, the father or mother had been drinking heavily since their partner died, it added.

ChildLine's chief executive Carole Easton said: "Many people find death a difficult and frightening subject to think and talk about.

"How much harder is it then for us to listen to what bereaved children tell us and be clear about what they need.

"As adults, we can all only do our best to try to support children who have been bereaved."

ChildLine has put together a list of advice for adults dealing with bereaved children, including:

answering their questions simply, sensitively and factually

allowing children to express feelings of guilt arising from a sense of responsibility for their parent's death

offering ways to help them remember the person who has died

providing a continuing opportunity for the child to express feelings about their bereavement

allowing children to speak to someone outside the family group.


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