Janet Street-Porter has already shown her abrasive side

The second series of I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! in nine months started last night. This marks the fact that the "water-cooler TV" season - like the asparagus season - is now year-round, rather than just restricted to Big Brother in the summer.

Many would put this down to some kind of Hell = handcart scenario.

I think that, so long as you're not a worm, these shows are actually quite benign. They both allow a whole country a non-controversial ice-breaking topic, and give us the chance to see if there are any failing B-list celebrities we want to rehabilitate back to the A-list.

I reckon the first big argument will involve Janet Street-Porter. She's right stroppy, what with moaning about riding the horses into camp and having a go at Brian for smoking.

That's the thing about the jungle - it very quickly shows you up if you're bossy or a whiner.

I was shocked by Natalie and the spider drama - give it a rest! I'd have been furious if she'd woken the whole camp. And if she already thinks she can't hack it, I can't see why she bothered going at all.

Janet also had a go at Paul Burrell being a butler - I'm with her on that. He's already smarming around the place. If you packaged him he'd be haemorrhoid cream!

Burrell had been elected without contest to the post of camp whipping-boy and Janet Street-Porter... made an early bid to have first go with the whip.

Widely tipped as the most promising catalyst in the camp, Street-Porter lived up to her reputation by provoking strong reactions amongst her fellow internees.

"Natalie, can it!" Street-Porter snapped as they all made their way to camp, exasperated beyond endurance by the high-pitched whine emanating from the singer Natalie Appleton - far and away the leading candidate for the earliest nervous breakdown.

Hopes that I'm a Celebrity would raise the level of humiliation the nonentities suffer quickly proved justified.

Most hilarious was Natalie "I can't do this!" Appleton. She freaked out in the helicopter and then on horseback - just going into the jungle. Maybe she is after the Kerry McFadden sympathy vote.

Janet Street-Porter has sweet FA to prove and less than nothing to lose

One thing's for sure, Janet Street-Porter won't bore us rigid with a tear-stained Kerry McFadden-esque list of who she's missing. She won't be missing a soul. She's so egocentric, the only person whose company she rates is her own.

She's already said she'd rather shag a cockroach than any of her jungle mates, so she won't, presumably, be missing nookie either.

Janet Street-Porter has sweet FA to prove and less than nothing to lose. She doesn't need the dosh and, at pushing 60, is the living, breathing opposite of a wannabe.