Almost one in four of those surveyed has been involved in acts of physical abuse within a relationship, either as assailant or victim.

Of the more than a thousand interviewed, 27 per cent of women and 21 per cent of men said they had been involved in a domestic incident involving physical fighting, punching, kicking, or having sex against the will of one partner.

Out of those who had been involved in incidents of domestic violence, 37 per cent of women went to the police, compared with 19 per cent of men.

Yet many held that it remains a private matter, with almost half of those questioned believing that what happens behind closed doors is for the couple to sort out themselves.

What can be done to stop domestic violence? Do you think it is a private matter or is the taboo part of the problem?

This Talking Point is now closed. Read a selection of your comments below.

As a domestic violence survivor I think that there should be a change in the law regarding the ways the injunctions do NOT work. They are absolutely useless and are not worth the paper they are written on because the abuser nearly always break the law and continues to harasses the victim
Marie Francourt, UK

My own experience of being physically and mentally abused by my wife is a familiar one, yet most if not all help groups are aimed at women. The politically correct lobby cannot bring itself to face this truth. It is time that abused men are given help through this awful, life wrecking experience too. Let's see local councils and lottery money directed towards this issue.
John, England

Don't forget there are often children involved in these relationships and they will take the scars into their adulthoods JA, UK

I cannot believe in this day and age that people still think that one person can beat/mentally abuse another and it is OK as they live together or are married. If you walked down the street and someone shouted abuse or beat you they would be arrested - why should it be any different because the offender is known to the victim? Don't forget there are often children involved in these relationships and they will take the scars into their adulthoods. It needs to be dealt with not ignored.
JA, UK

I am still suffering now after I hit my wife one year ago. It still hurts so bad knowing that I did what I did and will have to live with it for the rest of my life. I felt so ashamed of what I did and left my kids and personal possessions and I walked away. Although no excuse can be made for it there was little or no love or respect in the relationship and I was suffering from depression. I'm a Dad who has lost everything.
Ian, UK

My father abused my mother all my life, both verbally and physically, usually when drunk. While he was usually (but not always) apologetic the next day, the ultimate problem was that I don't believe he ever accepted this was unacceptable behaviour and so there was never any chance that he would seek help to deal with this. The only time I saw a reduction in the abuse was one day when I was old enough and brave enough to stand up to him. I suspect though that since I've left home he has drifted into old habits. Certainly his drinking is back up. My mother never ever pressed charges when the police showed up and the worst he got was a night in a cell which usually made him much angrier.
Kenny, UK

I am sick of seeing posters declaring 'stop violence against women!' as if violence against other people were perfectly acceptable. When will we understand that domestic violence is a problem regardless of who the victim is? I know men who have been turned away from anti-violence and rape support charities where they have sought help. Proper provision needs to be made for all people in such desperate need.
Jennie Kermode, Scotland

I feel very strongly that men and women who are victims of domestic violence should get all the support they need. The perpetrators should get put away for their crimes. This does not happen. A member of my family has recently been a victim at the hands of her partner. For nearly strangling her and beating her senseless all he got was "community service" I have no faith what so ever in the law. It's an absolute farce!
Kirstin, Greece

I don't think anything is likely to change until there is a major shift in ideology regarding the status of women in this country. Domestic violence is one extreme on a continuum of abuse, degradation and general down playing of a woman's role in society. When we have government spokesmen uttering statements such as "Yes homicide rates have gone up, but don't worry a third of them were domestic" or some such twaddle then what message does that give to the women and men of this country. It speaks for itself.
Jo, UK

What do you do when you cross the line the first time? Dave, GB

Let's not forget you don't become a serial abuser overnight. It's a pattern that develops over time. And what do you do when you cross the line the first time? To my everlasting regret I speak as someone who has been violent to my partner on one occasion. It was a moment of madness and I will regret it to my grave. I was lucky the company I worked for had a confidential counselling service and the counsellor was understanding, but I don't know what I'd have done otherwise. If one in four people are victims there are a lot of perpetrators out there and helping them stop from becoming serial abusers is just as important as helping the victims.
Dave, UK

My mother had a terrible temper, which she took out on dad, me and my brothers and sisters. My dad was knifed and had broken ribs, but never complained to the police. We regularly had bruises. Once at school the bruises were noticed and I was asked if my dad beat me. When I said that it was mum I was told that I was lying.
Steve Vogt, UK

The reason I didn't run before? Because you know that one day they will find you and you are more scared of that than living day to day with abuse Charlee, UK

As a victim of domestic violence I have no sympathy for anyone who physically, sexually, mentally or emotionally abuses another human being. I tried to get help from the "aid" agencies out there and it took them three months to bother replying to me by which time it could have been too late. Thankfully I woke up one morning and decided to run away heavily pregnant and with only the clothes on my back. And the reason I didn't run before...because you know that one day they will find you and you are more scared of that than living day to day with abuse.
Charlee,UK

What arrant nonsense this idea that people should deal with this behind closed doors. I understand it is a very difficult situation in all cases, but it really is a symptom of a greater malaise in our society. We simply tolerate violent physical behaviour too much.
There is a definite need for much stiffer penalties for physical assaults across the board. I would hope that this situation would be dealt with in the strongest terms by our society and that the many who suffer in silence will have the courage to speak out and that we have the compassion to provide the support structure to enable their decision. Violent behaviour must not be tolerated, imprison people who are violent and protect the rest of us now.
Baz,UK

The most important thing is for victims to talk D Carman, UK

The most important thing is for victims to talk. I lived with a father who made me watch him beat my mother and stepmother throughout childhood. I was afraid of him and said nothing. I wish I had because it might have made him stop and face the consequences of his actions.
Being brought up in a climate of fear where you had to watch your every word and action because it might provoke a violent response is no way to live. As a child, I turned on myself, attempting suicide at seven and indulging in self-harm throughout my teenage years by cutting my arms with razor blades and broken glass.
I did not talk about what happened until my father died. By then I was thirty nine. Only now am I facing up to the fact that my life has been completely dominated by fear of another person. I do not want others to suffer the same thing. Please tell someone else if this is happening to you and help to put a stop to it now.
D Carman, UK

Having witnessed domestic violence during many years of my childhood and early adolescence, I speak from experience. My brutal Father escaped, scot-free, because in the 50's and 60's domestic violence was "hidden" and considered without the jurisdiction of the law. Consequently my mother suffered countless beatings, unnecessarily. It was not until I was old enough and big enough to defend her that the beatings stopped.
It should not be left to children to protect their mothers from domestic violence, laws and legislation should, without doubt or delay, make this heinous crime both reportable and punishable in such way that distinguishes it from non-domestic GBH or aggravated assault charges. Perpetrators of domestic violence should be treated with the utmost contempt and disdain which they truly deserve.
Neil Ashurst, UK Expat in Ghana

The survey agrees with previous ones that just 6% more women than men are abused. Yet domestic violence is always portrayed as man on woman. I came from a family where my mother was the violent partner so this bears out my personal experience. If the Government, police, courts, media and support organisations treated this issue as a non gender specific crime then it would be viewed much more seriously by society.
Alex, UK

Taboo is part of the problem certainly. However, society needs to look at the root causes of violence in general. Stress and frustration in daily life play a large part towards violent behaviour; of which some will result in domestic violence. This can be caused by many factors; including financial pressure, job insecurity, transport problems (both waiting for public transport and car congestion) and boredom. The concept of a loving/caring family life seems to be disappearing and this can also lead to stress and frustration.
Roger, UK

The results from the Domestic Violence survey beggar belief. The police should be automatically involved in ALL cases of violence. Violence is always an offence and the only way to stamp it out is for violent people to realise the consequences of their actions. And beating someone because you believe they have been unfaithful is not ok. Domestic Violence is a crime and as such is a matter for the Police. Wife beaters should be aware that once you have committed a crime it is no mitigation to be sorry afterwards and the Crown Prosecution Service do NOT need the victim to press charges - they can prosecute based on the evidence of neighbours, Police etc.
Peter Williams, UK

Domestic violence is a problem people are facing worldwide. It is a taboo subject so it is essential that governments provide shelters for victims who are either too afraid to leave the situation because they have nowhere else to go or are not aware that help can be provided. Public awareness of domestic violence is essential.
Dina, Cyprus

As long as no one is physically hurt, whose business is it beside the two persons involved? And if there is physical abuse, and the partner doesn't go the police, that's their mistake. They are adults, it's their responsibility.
Dave M, Canada

My mother stayed to keep us all together and prevent us going into care. I wholeheartedly support her decision but I would never wish the same circumstances on anyone else. Kathy, UK

Dave M in Canada, your comments show a total lack of comprehension. I watched my father knock my mother around for years. As my sisters and I grew old enough he would turn on us and she would intervene and take the beating to protect us. As we reached teenage years if he was really out of control we would divide his anger between us so the damage would be less. You may say, why didn't we go to the police, well simple, can you imagine his fury if we reported him to the police and then they bailed him. Someone would have been badly hurt or worse. My mother stayed to keep us all together and prevent us going into care. I wholeheartedly support her decision but I would never wish the same circumstances on anyone else. To stop the cycle there need to be lots of of support and plenty of safe houses for transitioning people out of abusive relationships.
Kathy, UK

One step along the road to improving things has already been taken by the BBC News Online poll itself which nails the myth that "one in four women suffers domestic violence". As your poll discovers, it's not one in four women; it's one in four people. The legal playing field has been levelled. Men will now be treated more fairly by the courts. The hypocrisy of the radical feminist agenda is exposed. Can we can all now move forward more peacefully?
Jim, England

I discovered long ago in the playground that mental cruelty was much worse than physical. This has been re-enforced by watching my boy/girl twins develop. Girls really know how to push other girls to self harming or even suicide by nasty words alone. If we are dealing with violence in the home it has to consider both mental and physical cruelty. But I have not yet met a family that doesn't have a verbal bust up ever so often. It probably is very therapeutic in the long run providing both sides give as good as they get.
Tony, UK

Both the perpetrators and the victims need help Linda, UK

The most frightening aspect of this survey is not the number of incidents, but the fact that almost half of those questioned believed that "what happens behind closed doors is for the couple to sort out themselves". How do they suggest this is possible when one partner is out of control and the other far too cowed and terrified to seek appropriate help? Surely the best way to deal with this awful problem is by more education and counselling? I think the series of TV programmes on domestic violence may be very helpful, and I hope that it will encourage sufferers on both sides of the problem (because both the perpetrators and the victims need help) to come forward for treatment.
Linda, UK

We need to realise that society has long ago turned its collective back on an absolute moral value. That said it is easy to deduce that the values we are left with are not clearly defined and overlap. When we as a society can return to believing that if we want morals we need to believe in a moral law. If a moral law is to be believed in than we must acknowledge a moral law giver. The moral law Giver is the only possible entity that can qualify as such - God.
Mark, UK

No human being should have to suffer violence and abuse in any relationship. The abuse and violence suffered by many victims is often compounded by society which refuses to take their suffering seriously on the grounds of their gender. Support should be available to all victims, male or female.
The current politically correct myth that women are always victims and never perpetrators is untrue, discriminatory and hurtful to nearly half of all victims. It means support networks are nearly non-existent for nearly half of all victims. Politically correct genderism should be removed from the issue of domestic violence and it should be seen for what it is: a human issue and not a gender specific one.
Colin Smith, Finland