No, we're not sure what that means either, but we do know that a recent loophole in government policy means that graduates can now clear all of their student debts by declaring themselves bankrupt.

That could mean shifting a debt of �20,000 or more, so it might seem like a good idea to graduate and wipe it off, even getting a better credit rating into the bargain.

So far so good for the scrounging time-wasters, but there is a downside. If you do become bankrupt then the government says you can't work as an estate agent, solicitor or local councillor.

Obviously, the BBC can't recommend declaring yourself bankrupt - so how else can students clear their debt?

To find out TSWI's Jon Holmes needed a couple of guinea pigs. But as he has three convictions for animal cruelty he got a couple of students instead, because they're expendable.

Luke and Claire volunteered to try their hand at some money-making schemes, providing they wouldn't have to do anything that would be demeaning or sexist in any way.

Pole dancing

Claire tries the pole

First, Jon took Claire to see a pole-dancing instructor, Rachel. She explained:

"In lap-dancing clubs people reckon the dancers earn about �1000 per night, but that's on a very good night. Your average lap-dancer could realistically earn a couple of hundred quid on a good night"

After spinning round the pole a few times like a demented swingball Claire was less than impressed with the idea and won't be splashing out on a lap-dancers costume any time soon. Unlike Jon.

Of course lap-dancing is traditionally a female way of making some extra money, but what can the men do while the women are busy 'hooking them out' for cash? What about something everybody can enjoy?

Taking drugs for cash

Have some drugs. Please.

Across the country clinical trials centres are looking for volunteers to test the latest drugs.

Some of them pay a lot of money for a long weekend of drug-taking, so that when you come out you can pay off some of your student loan, rather than spend a lot of money on a long weekend of drug-taking.

Luke was attracted to the idea, and thought it might be worth doing for a couple of hundred quid, but he also said that he'd like to have more information about the drugs that they were putting into his body.

Like, say, if they were likely to turn him into a squid-boy.

But what if you still want to pay off your student loan but with a little more dignity?

Become an advert

Luke becomes an ad

A company called Cunning Stunts (genius! geddit? geddit?) is planning to pay students �88.20 per week to have an advert printed on their forehead, provided they walk around in public for 3 hours a day.

And remember, Cunning Stunts (genius!) are the people who projected Gail Porter's bare bum onto the House of Commons, proving that they know a bit about dignity.

But does it work? Luke walked around the centre of Leeds with TSWI (The State We're In) on his forehead.

Unfortunately, most people thought he was advertising the Tipping Sudbury Women's Institute.

So, if you're a student saddled with a colossal amount of debt, it seems there's no real way to get rid of it without losing your dignity and having people mock your sorry life. But then you're used to that, you're a student.

The government don't want you to duck your debt. They say: "Our policy is that student loan debt should not be written off with bankruptcy." So instead they're effectively encouraging you to strip, get drugged up and walk around looking like a doofus.

It seems there's never been a better time to be in higher education. As Tony Blair himself once said - "Education, education, education, tits and drugs"...